Self Control

Titled Self Control, this group of work embodies (pun intended) so much of what I worked through and am still working through around our constructed femininity. It may be nearly a decade old, but  I see it more clearly than I did even then. 

 I created this work in grad school, which is a funny place. At 22, I found myself in a new world, that had totally different expectations of what it looked like to perform. Grad school had very little in common with how I’d been operating up to that point. 

 I use the words, performance and operate very purposefully. That’s what I was doing. I began to realize, that for the first time, my external presence was a performative act. And that much, if not all of the femininity followed suit. 

 Simply by being born female, I was asked to act female. And I had always done it, and well. I took great stock (and still do) in my external presentation doing a lot of the talking for me.

 But what I came to realize was that in this new world, I was not measured higher based on how well I dressed. In fact, my version of femininity seemed to be viewed as frivolous. While I knew I wasn’t frivolous, what was the end result of my external presentation??

 So I started to explore in video. 

See how quickly the facade melts away.

 I wanted to visceral, real reaction to my body performing femininity, something you can only gather in continuous footage. My first successful video piece was call Jump Rope. I went to La James, got my hair and makeup done as garishly as possible, bought a 90s prom dress and wore a crown, then proceeded to jump rope for 30 minutes, with no more than 5 breaths between rope swings. The facade deteriorated quickly. I melted and morphed into a disaster and as the rope was outside the frame, you saw my effort, but not the cause, creating the metaphor for the external pressures for feminine performance. 

 From there, I examined more expectations like posture. In this video, I stack books on my head, an outdated measure of perfect posture. What you can’t see from this angle is that my back arm is hold up the books, and it’s not until I try to remove the support that you see how impossible the task is. I have you fooled in the beginning, believing that I can manage it all, take on it all, but the truth is, I was hiding my true support, and once that facade broke, everything fell with it. 

Next up was examining our relationship with dual expectation for females to have long, luscious head hair but absolutely no other hair to speak of. In this video, I brush my long hair, counting to 100. 10 strokes in, another audio layer is added on top and you hear my conversation with my waxer, receiving a Brazilian. You hear me yelp as I go through the painful process of having hair waxed off one of the most sensitive parts of my body. Complying with contemporary standards of sexual femininity. 

It was during this piece that a professor spoke up. He believed I couldn’t both participate in the act and critique it-- that this stance was hypocritical and didn’t move the conversation forward. 

This was a defining moment in my life. 

I believed vehemently he was WRONG and I told him so. I said, as humans we are frequently faced with situations that we, if we stopped to think about the ramifications, would not condone, but group think is powerful. Women and their relationship with hair has been handed down for generations. We have NO CHOICE but to have a relationship with it. And as a female, navigating this world, I was both conforming and critiquing my action. As I woman I know, that the phrase, pain in beauty did not come out of thin air. It comes from centuries of women KNOWING they should not have to agent their bodies to gain physical approval, but doing to anyway, because social acceptance trumps decent where the food chain is concerned. 

 This brings me back to Self Control, my photo series that put the cherry on top of my thesis work. These images were  meant to show the casing--the reality of wearing “control top” anything. As women, we squeeze, tuck, pluck and form, only to be left with the reality of the situation when we return. At the end of the night, when we’re home and the heels are off, this is reality. To what extent has this self control benefited us? Has it taken from our authenticity in ways we could never verbalize?

 When I walked out of my grad program, I walked away from making art like this. There were several reasons, but the biggest was impact. Now, I’m able to talk about this work and these concepts in front of you all and make an impact, but I didn’t see a clear path between making this work and having the impact I desire. 

 Where I did see an impact was showing people how truly magical it was to be seen. 

 I moved to Iowa to start Ivory House with one goal - to help EVERYONE feel comfortable and confident in front of the camera. I’d been putting myself on the chopping block for years in less than flattering ways. While I didn’t feel the need to be that audacious, I did want to inspire people to be extra, get outside of themselves, be more, say more, create more, and show up more. 

 I haven’t stopped making work. It just looks different now. This photo - this is a performance. In grad school, I learned the basics of how to create an impact and I’ve simply taken to the streets and mobilized. This photo reminds me of the girl with perfect posture who didn’t yet know how to support herself. She didn’t yet have the substance to say no, to stand up for herself, to create her own destiny. The woman at the gas pump knows where she’s headed and she’s bringing you with her. 

This photo calls people to action. Stop being your performance. Be YOU in every scenario in everyday. I can’t help but think of the girl that jump rope a decade ago while her face melted off in front of the camera. 

 I now spend my time giving other people space. Promoting other people’s version of strong and bold, creating space for other people to step into themselves. 

 I learned a long time ago:  if you can see yourself, I mean REALLY see yourself for the reality of who you are, what you could be and what is already innately you, then you have a fighting chance of making a huge impact on this beautiful world— and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Unapologetically Extra: Facing the Fear (of shorts).

I am frequently called “fearless.” 

While I adore this description and hope it inspires other to take action, rise up, take risks and show up for themselves, I don’t find it to be accurate. I hold my fear close to me, for my observation only. And the actions I take are often in recognition of my fear and IN SPITE of my fear. As my dear friend Christina Davis says, “I do it afraid.”

In the name of conquering fears, I did something super daring. I WORE SHORTS.

Now, before you roll your eyes at me, I am the girl who grew up not turning over at the pool. That’s how much I detested my backside, my pale skin, the idea of people seeing me that I couldn’t see……. the list goes on. I’m also the girl who modestly "“dressed for my body type”, meaning I’ve tastefully covered, synched, layered and tailored my clothing to FIT IN without letting any of my more boisterous body parts standing out.

Somewhere along the way, I stopped questioning my rules. I didn’t wear shorts, anything deemed “boy cut”, two pieces of any nature or clothing that was too tight or "low cut.” I conditioned myself to ignore those clothing options, with the phrases, “that’s not for me” running through my head every time I saw a magazine ad or a human bolding sporting an item “I couldn’t wear.”

And then one day I had the realization. 

 I was online shopping and noticed a cute pair of shorts on a model who looked a lot like me, but my gut reaction remained the same. Since I am now too far along on this journey of questioning my fears, I quietly and cautiously called out my fear of shorts, clicking the order button while remaining convinced I would return them the following week. 

They arrived. I slipped into them. And the world didn’t end. In fact, I turned around and what I found was shocking. 

I liked what I saw.

In fact, I wore them instantly, with a quarter inch of lower booty showing just like those effortlessly thin high school girls I always dreamed of being.

These small fears feel so big in our minds.

We build up bypasses to get over them, under them and turn all around them, without realizing that occasionally, we simply need to GET THROUGH IT. I was wasting so much time worrying about what people thought about my white thighs that I didn’t stop to consider my own comfort. 

This seems bizarre, but it happens all the time in fashion, business, friendship and relationships. 

Can you think of a rule you’ve made for yourself that is founded in fear OVER fact?

Sure, we can all back up our fears with justified examples. But when do we cross the line between self preservation and justifying our insecurities?

So I’m creating a call to action! LET ME SEE YOUR SHORTS and tag me on Facebook, hashtag #unapologeticallyextra on Insta. Let’s show the world just how powerful our thighs can be. 

No meetings March: My decision to say "yes" to myself.

So here’s something most people don’t know about me.

I’m an introvert.

Hard to believe, I know. But I recharge my emotional battery pack alone. I always have. I was the kid in 7th grade who was neck-in-neck in the race to read the most books in the school year. I spent my weekends at home hanging with my family, playing solitaire (you can’t make this stuff up) and watching Parent Trap and Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen movies on repeat. I hated sleepovers unless they were at my house (still true) and as I moved into high school, I created a core group of friends, but I was definitely not popular. I was the nice, quiet girl. I didn’t assert my opinions and I rarely called attention to myself unless I was on stage for a solo choir competition.

Fast forward to college. I applied to be a Resident Assistant and got a taste of leadership and acquired a core group of opinionated friends who challenged me. Fast forward even further to grad school, where I was tested in every way a person could be tested and coped with feeling like an outsider by creating hard won confidence.

It really wasn’t until I moved back to Iowa that this incredibly extroverted side of my personality took over. And that happened mostly because it had to. I knew no one and that was not going to bring in a pay check. So I started having coffee 5 times a day (not exaggerating). I showed up at everything, said yes to every opportunity, bent over backwards to accommodate requests and generally did what any business owner shooting for the stars would do to create success and momentum.

And here I am, three years later totally comfortable putting myself out there in almost every way I could imagine. But I was completely and totally drained. I was getting up at 5am to work out and be at my computer by 7am. I was working and connecting all day long and it got to the point where I was angry about it.

That’s right, I said it. I was angry that so many people wanted my time and attention. What business owner can admit that and continue to have a business? Not me!!! Except here I am now, doing it.

But here’s the truth. I was giving it all away. I was showing up for everyone else but myself and I needed to start honoring my inner introvert or she was going to force my hand.

So I decided to commit a month to myself and deemed March the MONTH OF NO MEETINGS.

All of you out there who know the kind of life I live are picking your jaws off the ground. Let me explain. I blocked one ENTIRE WEEK for no shoots, viewings, meetings or phone calls. It happened to coincide with spring break, so life was quiet anyway. I spent that time diving deep into the long neglected systems of my business, using my juicer, taking walks and reading books.

I still did shoots (my favorite kind of energy exchange) during the other weeks of March. I showed up on social media, met with my Brand Launch business partner and saw my friends, but I approached it completely differently.

When someone would ask, “Hey, do you want to grab coffee next week?” I would respond, “I’m making room for more spontaneity in my life, so yes I would love to see you, but can you text me on a day you are free and we can see if the stars align?”

You want to know what happened? I saw my friends WAY more in the month of March then I have in the past couple of years, and I didn’t feel tied to my calendar. And I felt so much more joy in showing up because it felt like a choice, not an action item. I also said no to anything that wasn’t 100% necessary to the life of my business and found that this gave me SO MUCH MORE LIFE to infuse into my processes.

So where am I going from here? I’m still incredibly wary of putting anything on my calendar and I’m no where near recovered from a 3 year long habit of YES YES YES but I’m taking baby steps. As a community, we have gotten in the habit of scheduling coffee dates for 3 weeks out and I’ve got to be honest, that doesn’t protect my emotional energy. I have no idea what I’m going to feel like three weeks from now. I don’t know if I’m going to have the extra energy it takes to do a morning coffee, two shoots, 2 work meetings, and a happy hour all in one day.

So I’m still saying no. Most people have my phone number or can easily reach me on FB. If you get a wild hair to go for a walk on a Tuesday night and want my company, I want to know about it and have the flexibility to show up, but I don’t want to put a walk on the calendar for 3 weeks in the future. It’s just not how I want to go about my life anymore. Ya know?

I understand that this means there will be people I don’t see as often, but I also know that when I show up, I’m able to show up as my whole self, ready and willing and recharged to be in that interaction. And I’ve got to go with that feeling. Who’s with me?

40 Under 40: Miss America Questions Answered!

Each year, the 40 under 40 nominees receive an email with 7 questions. We are told we get 45 seconds to make an impact on a room filled with community leaders and we won’t know which question we will answer in advance. AND GO. Since 45 seconds is never enough time, I decided to cheat and answer all the questions for you!

What is something you are passionate about?

Emily Steele, Nora Croswaithe, Me and Annie Woods at Brand Launch Headquarters celebrating our #dsmhummingbird charm.

I’m out passionate about building relationships. I see this as the common thread in all the work I do. When I’m photographing,  I strive to create a really powerful one on one connection where my client can be comfortable and confident in front of my camera.

I love relationship building in the community. Joining FemCity, starting Wednesdays with Whitney, growing, starting the #dsmhummingbird community, growing the Unapologetically Extra ideology, all of these platforms showcase my strong desire to create connection.

What is something most people don’t know about you?

Graduation day from RIT (2011)

Photography is the only job I’ve ever had. I actually went to school for photography twice. I received my bachelors of fine arts in Photography and BA in Journalism at University of Iowa and then went on to get my Masters at Rochester Institute of Technology in New York, a really excellent photo school.

I’ve always worked in my field helping other small business owners achieve their dreams and run their businesses. So when it came time to branch out on my own, it was natural for me to move back to Iowa and start pursuing my first and only career path. 

Also - I’m an 8 on the enneagram chart. The Challenger. Most common adjective to describe and 8 personality type are self-confident, strong, and assertive. Protective, resourceful, straight-talking, and decisive and domineering. Sound about right? 

Who is someone you consider a mentor and what is one thing you have learned from that person?

Buz and Sue Brenton and Brenton Arboretum

Buz Brenton. Buz has been officially retired for decades but hasn’t stopped moving and contributing a day in his life. He always has a project and he’s always looking to improve the city we live in. He’s spearheaded the Greater Des Moines Botanical Gardens renovation and created the Brenton Arboretum in Dallas Center (my favorite place to take my dog Winston to roam on the weekends).

Buz has taught me what impact looks like. He’s taught me how to care for the city we live in and dive deep into passion to bring force all the good you can. And from our walks through Woodland Cemetery and Brenton Arboretum, he’s also given me a sincere appreciate for beauty of trees.

Please describe the significance of this photo.

Family Photos - Fall 2017

Photos are my world. I believe that every intentional photo has significance. I happen to like to turn my lens on people. I truly believe photos are what we leave behind. They are the markers of a life filled with tons of gorgeous moments with special people. I am constantly documenting myself, my friends and family and my community, because I know what it’s like to loose someone, and I know how important those photos and those memories are after they are gone. I also know what it’s like to relive the joyful memories behind the photos over and over again. And I wouldn’t give that up for anything. 

If you could repeat one fun or memorable experience, what would it be and why?

Most of my life is structured around giving me the ability to travel. My passion for new experiences and getting out of my comfort zone was ingrained from a young age. The most beautiful example I can think of was a trip I took with my mom during college. I had just gotten back from studying abroad in Europe. She wanted to spend some quality time together and said I could pick anywhere. I had just been on airplanes and trains for 8 weeks and couldn’t bare the thought of any more mass transit so I suggested an Iowa road trip. And that’s what we did. We spent four days driving around Northeast Iowa, stopping at every hole in the wall tourist experience and “best burger” joint we could find. We drove slowly and pulled over anytime I wanted to take pictures.

That trip taught that adventure is a mindset, not a destination. 

If you could give one piece of advice to the next generation of Central Iowa business leaders, what would it be and why?

Keynote speech - Dress for Success Luncheon 2018

Show up consistently. And when I say show up, I mean, physically show up at network events, put yourself out there in leadership positions, start things, organize events, join boards and create community on social media.

Pick people and organizations you find meaningful and give back to them. For me, it was Dress for Success, FemCity, GDMBG, the Food Bank of Iowa.

And don’t be afraid to be bold, hold out your hand to a new face and introduce yourself. If you want to make an impact, the first thing you need to do it be willing to put yourself on the line.  

Joyce Chapman

What was the best advice you received when launching your career? 

Say what you do with pride to everyone, often.

One of my first social events in DSM was as the guest of Joyce Chapman to a DSM Symphony event. Joyce has been a Des Moines Symphony supporter for years and she bought me as a guest meet some of her friends fellow music lovers. This was in the first few months of my business, when Ivory House existed but I didn’t really feel like I “owned” anything yet.

I remember introducing myself to one of Joyce’s friends saying that I was a photographer. Just a photographer. As we walked away, Joyce looked at me and said, “Whitney, say the name of your business every time you introduce yourself to people. This is how they will learn to know you. This is how they will remember you.”

That shifted something in me. I realized I had to own my brand and what I was building before anyone else could get behind no board.

Rachel Peterson: A Call to Action

On February 12th, I got a phone call informing me that my dear friend Rachel Peterson was diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 27. As I sit here typing these words, I am recalling the quick turn in emotion, as I answered the phone excited to hear a friend’s voice and then bursting into tears at Dumpling Darling when I finally processed what I was being told.

 My friend Rachel is 5 years younger than me, an athlete, a runner, an energetic life liver. She is also an entrepreneur, creating her income with her own brain, time and resources, all of which are about to become precious commodities as cancer treatments invade her body and evaporate her time.

Rachel is a supporter of others, both in her personal life and professional. When she first dove into the entrepreneurial journey, Rachel worked with me on my social media presence, helping to implement a lot of the structure you see today. She helped shape Wednesdays with Whitney into what it is, and facilitated several social media campaigns on behalf of my business while also overhauling my CRM  and giving my website a much needed boost. 

These are the things she done on the outside. On the inside, Rachel has sat with me while I cried, showed up when I needed something but didn’t know what, watched Winston and sent me cute selfies of the two of them snuggling, and been the kind of friend that I can only describe as one of my “ride or dies.” When you know, you know, and with Rachel, I knew from the moment we met, we would walk a long way together. 

Now, as she begins her battle with cancer, I will walk with her, I will run ahead and clear the path, I will bring all the joy and laughter into her life that I possibly can and I will fight with her. 

As business owners, there are the things we plan out; goals, projections, saving for taxes, travel and time off. Then there are the things we could never conceive of planning for; cancer, loss of physical freedom, medical bills that are incompressible in comparison to medical coverage, loss of your breasts, potentially the loss of being able to have kids and the loss of the ability to work for yourself. 

How do we plan for devastating circumstances like this? Its time’s like this where all we can do is ask for help. 

As we rally around Rachel and structure a fight on her behalf, I’ve asked her what would help most and here is what she said.

Financially contribute to her fight.

Rachel’s battle will be long. She has triple positive breast cancer ( a “good” kind, if that’s even possible) and she will be going through 16 weeks of chemo, followed by a mastectomy, radiation and hormone therapy. This journey will take all of her physical and mental strength along with her financial resources. If you are an entrepreneur, you know the difficulty of getting decent medical coverage. There will be lots of bills that go uncovered, not to mention the loss of income, as she has to cut back on her client work in order to fight for her life. If you are able, please consider contributing to her Go Fund Me campaign. 

Send good vibes and happy gifts. 

Above anything else, Rachel asked that we remember she is still human. She still wants to talk about what’s happening in our lives, laugh over the frivolous details of first dates or client horror stories. This road will be hard, but it will be harder with no distractions. She will be setting up a Caring Bridge sit for those who want to follow on her journey, hoping to relieve some of the emotional fatigue that comes from updating everyone individually. Remember that Rachel still needs to laugh. Send magazines, funny books or empowering gift, anything to take her mind off of what’s happening inside her body. She loves candles and massages and that makes her feel special and human. 

Healthy, low prep food.

This one is the hardest as she lives in Bend Oregon and we mostly live in Des Moines. Low prep, healthy meals are going to be key. Rachel is admittedly a lack luster chef and doesn’t see that changing once chemo is introduced into daily life, so healthy meal service kits would be ideal. Please refrain from sending sugary comfort food. Sugar is the first ingredient to go when fighting the battle for your life. 


If you are down here reading the bottom of this blog post, THANK YOU. You must be one of us, a human that jumps to action to rally around one of our own. A human that knows that we all have enough and can give to someone who is truly in need. A human who is searching for a way to contribute to the health of our sister. 

Please feel free to reach out to me personally with any questions or drop items off at my house if you would like to contribute to a group care package. I will be doing everything within my power to support Rachel. Thank you for going on this journey with us. 

My Self Care Service Providers

Last night I had the sudden realization that I have not been sick, not even a sniffle, since last March. That is almost one entire year of never having to cancel a shoot due to sickness or miss out on a fun event because my body was dragging me down. I also realized that is was last February when I threw my back out so badly that I needed assistance getting my shirt on and off. It was in this moment, while my dear friend Lucy was lovingly helping me pull my shirt over my head and delicately arrange three heating packs over my broken body, that I made a command decision to put myself first.

Shooting at the rate and pace I do takes it’s toll. I’m often standing, squatting, and bending in awkward positions for hours at a time, usually out in the elements, sweating or freezing. Yes. This is the glamor of my chosen profession. I knew if I was going to continue at my chosen pace, I had to put some routines in place and allocate my financial resources to ensuring my body was well taken care of. So here we go, my list of self care providers that keep me going in every aspect of my life.

Shine Chiropractic - Dr. Rebecca Lake

I’ve got to start where it started. Dr. Rebecca Lake has been with me for the past two years of my health journey. She has been my doctor, consistent guide, the person thats lifted me off her table when I was in too much pain to lift myself and answered my urgent calls when I couldn’t move. With her consistent care and adjustment, I am now not only able to get on and off her table by myself, but I’m experiencing a relief from pain I’d felt for years. I can now sleep my shooting shoulder, which had been out of commission for at least a year prior to meeting her.

While the adjustments are now a necessity in my life, seeing Dr. Becca is more then just alignment, it is the impetuous to the holistic care I’ve sought on behalf of my body. She’s inspired almost every single one of the other health care practices on this list and she is responsible for gently forcing me to go by some supportive shoes. If you are looking for a guide on your journey to wellness, look no further than this brilliant gal.

Skin Body Soul - Angela Carter

Skin care is an obsession of mine. For years, I battled rashy, super sensitive skin that controlled my life. As I’ve progressed on my healthcare journey, I resolved so many of my internal issues causing my chronic hives (as it turns out i have epically bad allergies) but years of abuse left my skin worn out, sad and broken.

Meeting Angela was a blessing. I am now someone who people actively stop and comment on the quality of my skin and this makes me SO happy. I’m not one to mess around with superfluous beauty treatments. I don’t dye my hair or paint my nails, but I do lean into anything that is going to make my skin glow without makeup application. I’ve been seeing the ladies at Skin Body Soul for hydrafacials, micro-needling and good, old fashioned laser hair removal. I’ve also been diligently using their Miracle Mask in between visits. And guys, my skin looks phenomenal, I think we can all agree.

Also because I’m obsessed and like to share, click here to get an AMAZING deal on a hydrafacial. Add derma-planing on to this and you will not regret your life choices.

The Grateful Chef - Brandy Lueders and John Cornish

Discovering The Grateful Chef and their pre-prepare frig and freezer meals was a game changer. Brandy, John and their beautiful business are why I’m able to get as much done as I do. I don’t cook. Ever. I’m not joking. Their shop is one mile from my house. The food is delicious, healthy, there is tons of variety and I never have to go to the grocery store. In fact, there are now entire month spans where I don’t step foot inside a Hy-Vee and this brings me great joy.

If you need a capacity builder in your life, check out The Grateful Chef. These people are my super heros.

Adamantine Yoga - James Miller

In September of 2018, I joined Adamantine Yoga at the suggestion of my dear friends, Dr. Rebecca and Kelly Marble. These two ladies are long time members and I had actively observed their passion for this practice. I’d been searching for a yoga home for ever since moving to DSM but hadn’t found anything that fit me. I used to practice 5 days a week back in Rochester, but finding the right vibe and making class times became increasingly challenging.

Adamantine was the answer to so many problems I wasn’t even seeing. The practice is structured and I move through the same flow every day, allowing me to truly settle into my body, stretch my abilities and watch my progress, while also challenging me to grow. I can show up anytime I want in the morning or afternoon. I’m usually there between 5:30am and 6:30 am but sometimes, I may go at 8:07am. I arrive to peaceful room with humans deep in their practice, breathing to the beat of a metronome. Everyone is moving along a similar path at their own pace, being assisted and guided by the teachers who move about the room.

This place is my sanctuary. It is my space to stretch and sweat, reflect and recharge. It starts my days off with the knowledge that I come first, and that every person who enters my orbit will benefit from the peace I found on my mat.

Massage Heights - Owner Trisha McFadden and Massage Therapist Forrest

My bi-monthly massage is a necessity, although my tax accountant has informed me that it’s not an expense. I’ve been visiting Massage Heights on Ingersoll for well over two years and my massage therapist Forrest has been by my side through so many of my work related injuries. The team at Massage Heights takes amazing care of me and I love knowing I get to support a fellow female business owner and friend, Trisha McFadden.

Cyclebar - Calleen Hodges

My first Cyclebar ride was with our Hummingbird charm, and I can’t imagine a better introduction to a workout. I went mainly in my capacity as charm leader, but instantly fell in love with the pace and the rhythm of the workout. The instructors are energetic, uplifting and just the right amount of pushers. This workout is the perfect cardio addition to my routine. It’s so good that I’m completely willing to make the 25 minute drive to my house 2/3 times a week to sweat it out in a dark room with relative strangers. If you are looking for group cardio that’s easy on the joints (yes, I think about these things), look no further and let me know if you’d like to join me! It’s always best to try a new workout with a friend!

So there is is friends, these are the people and places that keep this body functioning at optimum level. I can’t explain why I haven’t been sick for the past year. There is no one reason. But there is a culmination of self care practices that have resulted in overall better health, and for that, I am so proud of myself.

2018 in Review

2018 was intense. My business’ Ivory House Photography and Brand Launch, experienced success beyond my wildest dream. I solidified for myself who I wanted to be in this community, what I wanted to offer and how I wanted to show up. This was also a year of excruciating loss. I spent the majority of 2018 recovering from the news that the lease at my Walnut St. studio space was not being renewed, for no particular reason that could be explained to me. Many of the decisions I’ve made this year, so many of the things I’ve initiated, work through and built up were done during a time when I wasn’t sure if my business would survive.

I realize now that this doubt was ridiculous. But you see, I had convinced myself that my space, the physical space where I took my portraits, was the magic. That the light from those windows and the address on the door was the reason people showed up to work with me. When that was taken away, I thought it was all over. I’m not kidding about this. I had doomsday written all over my scary spiraling thoughts. And I couldn’t tell anyone. Because who can say this sort of ludicrous, self sabotaging fear out loud?

So I did what I do when I’m presented with a challenging situation. I solve the problem, without hesitation, to the very best of my ability.

Solving this problem took the majority of 2018. In fact, it wasn’t until this past month that I have felt truly at peace with the upheaval of this year. Like so many of us, I am often the last to acknowledge my own progress. I am so myopically focused on the long game that I fail to see the successes that build up to the big goal. But as I wrote this list, I had to admit to myself. This year was a win. Not a small win. Not a jump start. This year was a slam dunk, hole-in-one kind of year, in spite of and because of all the upheaval. I am SO proud to share with you what I think are my greatest successes of 2018.

January:

WE LAUNCHED BRAND LAUNCH

Together Emily Steele and I launched Brand Launch, our business baby. The concept we had been scheming and conceiving for months. Our goal was simple: combine our enthusiasm for Des Moines and grass roots social media marketing to make the greatest impact possible. And we’re doing just that. So many of my wins this year were because of this amazing partnership we’ve built and this business we are nurturing together.

Photo from our September 11th Workshop with some incredible, motivated ladies!

February

BRAND LAUNCH HELD OUR FIRST SOLD OUT WORKSHOP

Emily and I held our first (of many) sold out Personal Branding and Business Building Workshop. We believe in this curriculum so much, and it was such an honor to be a small part of the participant’s discovery process. Spending time on your business, rather than in your business is crucial and we look forward to providing more opportunities for clarity and discovery in 2019.

Want to join us for our next weekend Brand Building Workshop Jan 24th and 25th? Sign up here.

I PHOTOGRAPHED 36 $100 HEADSHOTS IN ONE WEEK (and lived to tell about it)

I started $100 headshots my first year in business, when I was struggling with revenue and wanted to get more people in the door. That first year, I had 9 people sign up for $100 headshots. Those 9 people were mostly from my FemCity family and are still some of my closest business confidants. My 2018 $100 headshots sold out and then some, almost without any effort on my part. And I can’t tell you how good that felt. Not only that, but myself and my team managed to provide an excellent experience to all 36 of those clients. WHAT A HUGE WIN! $100 Headshots will be coming back in February 21-24. Mark your calendars ladies and gentlemen.

DRESS FOR SUCCESS PORTRAITS

I am a firm believer that an accurate photo of you looking and feeling your absolute best, lays the foundation for so much future success. I wanted to be able to give that feeling and foundation to women who might not otherwise have it. I spearheaded an initiative and collaboration with Dress for Success Des Moines, along with many talented hair and make up artists, to create an opportunity for the members of the Dress for Success Professional Women’s Group to get their very own professional headshots. Watch the video here. Fair warning. Tears are in your future.

MAY

I CLOSED ON THE NEW IVORY HOUSE

This success was the hard one, the one that I wanted so desperately to be excited about but experienced so much dread and panic around. I bought this beautiful house with great bones with an interior that was firmly stuck in the 70’s and set about to remodel the whole thing and have it client ready by August 1st. Anyone who has gone through a renovation knows the stress of this adventure. Add on top of that all of this money I was spending had to equate to revenue generation on the other end of this endeavor, and you can see how my blood pressure was at an all-time high. I’ll do a complete post on my house sometime in the coming months, but suffice to say, this tough call has become such a treasured space in my life. It is my business and my sanctuary. I have somehow figured out how to have both in the same place, and it feels SO GOOD.

UNAPOLOGTICALLY EXTRA

This was the year I landed on what I could really give to people. This was the year of being Unapologetically Extra. I finally understood my true passion of photographing the individual, glorifying the INDIVIDUAL. Making sure you know that you are ENOUGH. You are WHOLE. You are SPECIAL. Just as you are. Standing there, in front of my lens. I took that realization and ran with it. If I am “about” anything, it is encouraging people to be their truest, most authentic, most unapologetic self. Because I believe when you lean into that person, when you have confidence that people will love you because of your strengths, weaknesses and eccentricities, that there is nothing you can’t accomplish.

Want to be Extra with me? Get on the mailing list for these 15 minute mini-sessions held once a month at different locations around Des Moines.

JULY

BRAND LAUNCH INTRODUCED THE HUMMINGBIRDS TO THE DSM MARKET

This is perhaps the biggest idea Emily and I introduced in 2018. The Hummingbirds are a group of Des Moines champions, willing to use there personal social media marketplace to uplift and promote brands the believe in. We have created a forum for those community champions to congregate and a systems for businesses to apply to work with our Hummingbirds to get the word out about their businesses. AND ITS WORKING. Guys, this unique idea is inspired by DSM and thriving and we are working so hard to grow this concept, make it more sustainable and bring our style of community love to cities all over the USA. Be on the look out for all kinds of updates on their project throughout the year and read more about the origination of this project and how to get involved HERE.

September

I DELIVERED THE KEYNOTE FOR THE ANNUAL DRESS FOR SUCCESS LUNCHEON

This was my greatest achievement and challenge of 2018. The biggest reason being, it was the thing that scared me the most. My collaboration with Dress for Success has led to so many amazing opportunities and this was the cherry on top of a truly inspiring creative collaboration. It was the proof that all the good done in the world comes back in the most unexpected ways. It was a true honor to stand on that stage, deliver a message I’d taken months (not joking) to write, and receive a standing ovation. It was just one of the many ways this community has encouraged my growth and rewarded my risks. I will always look back on that moment as a true triumph and a spring board to so many other opportunities that I have yet to discover.

October

I RECEIVED THE FIRST EVER LEAP PIPELINE AWARD

WOW! This was pretty cool. I’ve been going to the Downtown Chamber LEAP series for a few years now, this year serving as their official photographer. I’ve loved showing up in that room filled with positive vibes and excellent, driven speakers.

In the words of the Chamber:

The Pipeline Award recognizes an Emerging Professional who has (or is currently) attended the LEAP Series and demonstrates a clear momentum to initiate change. Nominee disrupts the status-quo, leads by example, and excites others with definitive potential for continued success. In the form below, please offer examples of how the nominee has applied the education offered through the LEAP Series to promote the advancement of women and other underrepresented groups

I can’t think of a better way to be described and I look forward to building on this momentum in 2018.

Strong women, linking arms to SHARE THEIR STORY and end the silence around domestic violence.

SAFE AT HOME - SHARE THEIR STORY CAMPAIGN

Brand Launch has brought so many beautiful opportunities into our lives, but one of our greatest joys is using our talents to mobilize our community and bring awareness to organizations like Safe at Home, a domestic violence assistance program aimed at concealing the addresses of abuse survivors from public records. This project was heart-wrenching, to say the least. The Brand Launch concept centered on SHARING THEIR STORY and to do this, we reached out to our networks to see if any women we knew had stories they were willing to share. The response was huge. My task was to interview these women and put together stories we could share for the greater good. I talked with 12 women, most of whom I had already known in some capacity, about their experience with domestic abuse. I created letter and then Emily and I gather communities leaders to share their stories and end the silence around domestic violence. SEE THEIR STORIES HERE.

This project was beautiful, powerful and impactful and showed the true strength of our community. We look forward to many more projects like this in the future.

IVORY HOUSE PHOTOGRAPHED OVER 40 FAMILIES THIS FALL (Watch the video for proof!)

My passion is photographing individuals, but I love seeing those individuals with their families. Now that I’ve gone through three seasons, I’ve built up a flow and I love this touch point when I get to see the kids getting bigger and the laughs getting easier. Family photos are traditionally very stressful and I pride myself on my familes finishing their session with a sigh an releif and a desire to do it all again next year.

December

WE SIGNED A LEASE ON A NEW SPACE FOR BRAND LAUNCH

2019 will be a year of immense growth and Emily and I can’t be more excited to see where this new space, and our big ideas will take us. Look forward to seeing many, many more opportunities coming your way and we reinvent what it looks like to show up whole-heartedly for your community.

Getting Personal with Olson-Larsen Galleries

I am a huge fan of art. I cover my walls with it at home, and I’m constantly looking for new pieces. I just can’t get enough. A few weeks ago, I stopped by Olson-Larsen Galleries in Valley Junction to chat with owner Susan Watts about our mutual love of all kinds of artwork, as well as the importance of framing your pieces.

The gallery’s storefront on the main drag in Valley Junction attracts the attention of people walking by. The large windows offer a peek directly into their gorgeous gallery space, filled with an ever-changing display of the work of various Midwestern artists. The building has been an art gallery since 1970, but today it also boasts a custom framing shop. 

The “small but mighty” team from left to right: Mark Goodrich, Frame Shop Manager, Susan Watts, Owner, Alyss Vernon, Gallery Manager.

Owner Susan Watts bought the business in 2010 from Marlene Olson, who had started it with Ann Larson back in the 70s. Susan had been a manager for seven years at that point, so she already knew what it would take to grow both the gallery and the framing side of the business as a staple in the Valley Junction commercial community. “Even though I was very familiar with the day-to-day things, the clients, and the artists, I was now the one making the final decisions. The buck stopped with me.” Susan and her “small but mighty” team work together to engage their clientele and keep their offerings fresh and accessible.

Because of their location, Olson-Larsen gets a lot of pedestrian business who are curious about their collections. The gallery features regional contemporary artists with whom Susan and her staff establish formal relationships, offering contracts and representation to benefit both sides. They love the fact that these artists can easily travel to Des Moines to attend their openings and engage with people. In addition to the gallery, they also have an alternative exhibition space to show off things like installations and sculptures. 

On both the gallery and framing sides, Olson-Larsen caters to a wide range of clients, from parents looking to frame their child’s artwork to corporate clients putting the final touches on a new office building. Their service-oriented business model is evident in the quality of products and the personal connections the staff establishes with many of their clients. 

“Building relationships is a huge part of the business,” Susan says. Some of their clients have been coming to Olson-Larsen longer than she’s worked there. Both the framing and gallery sides are highly individualized, she says. “It’s not like they’re going out to buy a sweater.” Purchasing something that speaks to you or choosing how to display a piece in a frame are deeply personal and subjective experiences, not to mention investments. Being able to understand each client’s desires and view the process from their perspective is something that the staff strives for.

Susan also advises all of her clients not to discount the importance of quality framing for those valuable pieces. If you don’t choose top-quality archival materials to preserve that piece, then you’re missing out on a big part of that initial investment, she says.

“I think that’s a really fun part about being here. It’s about what’s important to you, and we want to preserve it. We always tell people, everything’s valuable to different people for different reasons, whether it be a finger painting that your granddaughter did or a Picasso.” 

I worked with the meticulous Mark Goodrich to frame four very diverse new pieces of art I’d been itching to get up in my home. Each piece was considered both individually and within the context of the other art I already have in my house. I love working with professionals that have strong opinions and an eye for detail. This team had that in spades and I was able to relax and let the magic happen around me. The quality of the finished pieces is impeccable and they flow in my household so beautifully.

I found this dynamic duo in a thrift shop in Kansas City. I had been wanting to add original paintings to my collection and I felt absolutely drawn to the bold colors and simple abstraction of the human experience created by a young Cuban artist. We chose to frame them in a simple dark wood frame, bringing all the focus to the vibrancy of the work.

The second framed piece is four prints I cut out of a calendar I bought for $10 in Houston, TX. This isn’t expensive art. But I was drawn in by the colors, the intricacy of the line work and the subject matter. I’m a true believer that art doesn’t have to be found in a gallery. Beauty in art is assigned by the beholder, and I thought these prints were worth archival framing.

Last but not least is this sweet little print I picked up during an Adore your Walls print sale. I love this concept of $50 prints signed by the artist and Adore your walls owner, Liz Lidgett is so faithful in uplifting local artists. I love the simplicity of the white matte and white frame, really drawing the eye into the color and movement of the print. This piece is thriving in its clean white frame and chill environment.

The frame snob in me is SO pleased with how these pieces add to my home. Now I’m on the hunt for more art, and more wall space!

Zero to 30 in 94,608,000 Seconds

I did 30 family mini sessions in the month of October.

I rarely post my “numbers in any capacity. These are simply not the metrics in wish to share when communicating the success of my business. But there is one number that really matters.

ZERO.

The first time I offered family mini sessions, I had exactly ZERO people sign up to do a spring mini session with me. To be fair, I was 6 months into my business and 6 months into my moving back to Des Moines. But ZERO. That was a hard set back. I had a few more than zero when I extended the offer in the fall, but I'm fairly certain I did far less than 30 family sessions in my first year of business.

My point? I could have stopped then. I could have seen that big fat ZERO and thought I was not good enough. That nobody wanted what I have to offer. That perhaps I should go get a job and some stable income and stop chasing this big, crazy dream of mine.

But I didn't. Instead, I realized that I had just begun. That before I could reap the benefits of a booming business, I first had to establish myself as a contributing member of this community. I had to show up, time and again, doing unpaid work, saying yes to way too many things, establishing my personal brand and really diving into this beautiful community I call home.

And now, nearly 3 years into my business, I'm already at the point where I get to say no. I get to reevaluate and take a step back. I can raise my rates and know that people will still say yes. I can set my own rules and have faith that people will follow them.

But I couldn't do any of this if I had stopped or if I had thought the world owed me something I hadn't earned yet. I've spent almost every single second of the past 3 years plotting and scheming and shooting and hustling and figuring out EXACTLY what I want this business of mine to be in peoples live. This did not happen quickly. This happened with 12 hour days and massive sacrifice, both emotionally and financially.

And now - I finally am starting to recognize my own success. I can't walk down the street in Des Moines without seeing a friendly face I've photographed. I have several families that I've photographed 3 times or more. I am capturing their always. I'm a part of their legacy. And all the hard work? It’s so increibly worth it.

Car Talk

After 10 years together, it was time to turn this baby girl in. We’d been together since college. Yes, my 2006 Volkswagen Jetta and I had put in some real miles together. Tracy Chapman (circa 1989) had been in the six-CD changer rotation since I took ownership. Winston’s hair had completely carpeted the floor to the point where a powerful vacuum was no match. The upholstery had started to peel off the ceiling in the back. The buttons of the radio were worn down and my leather seats had started to deteriorate at a rapid pace.

The outside of her had many scrapes and dents after years of distracted driving around unfamiliar cities, looking for gas rather than where I was going. Garbage cans stood no chance with this backup-cameraless car. The rear left fender was completely smashed in around the tail light. After I had the same accident with the same damage twice, I decided to leave it. That hole belonged to me, as a testament to my inability to go backwards. I had earned that hole. Twice.

My Jetta, while not flashy or speedy, was reliable, and she was all mine. I had paid her off early,  and she was a source of stability through many years of financial risks. I crave freedom in my life, and this car gave me that, both monetarily and in the knowledge that I could take off down the interstate at any given time, and she would get me where I needed to go.

Perhaps it’s strange to write and ode to a car. But we were together for 10 years and 100,000 miles. Ten years of singing loudly, crying profusely while no one was watching, laughing uncontrollably, and so, so many conversations on speakerphone because Bluetooth was but a dream of the future when my girl was made. The driver’s seat was molded to my butt, and even as she declined in her later years, I still took great comfort in climbing behind the wheel and taking off on my next adventure.

There are a handful of things in life that I value above all others, and enjoying the journey is one of them. Not only did my Jetta feel like a friend to me, but she gave me comfort on my journey, both literally and figuratively. Now it’s time to start my next adventure with a new friend, a black Golf that may as well be my Jetta’s cousin. And if this Golf proves to be as reliable as she was, then I’m so excited to see where our journey takes us over the next decade.

Learning to Be a Plant Parent

When I bought my new house and was preparing it to become both my home and work space, I realized that I needed to freshen the place up. To inject a little more life into these spaces that I was making my own, I asked Shylah, plant stylist at Des Moines’ Art Terrarium to come over and impart some much-needed advice on how plants can invigorate my space and, maybe more importantly, how I can be a good plant parent and keep them alive and happy.

Pictured: Andrea Metzler, owner and Shylah, plant stylist at Art Terrarium.

When Shylah came into my home to begin our consultation process, I think she knew right away that this space would benefit from some greenery. She is, after all, a professional plant stylist: a career she began recently when she realized that many people coming into the Art Terrarium shop wanting more plants in their lives but weren’t sure what or where or how. And with a background in art and event facilitation, she decided to let her creative spirit guide this burgeoning consultation business.

“Plant styling is a title I made up to describe a role where I show up with plants for people, and put those plants in places,” Shylah says. “For Whitney, having just moved into a new house, I get to be a part of the creative process that brings her home to life. It’s so special.”

We started room by room, identifying whether each will be a personal or work space, and what my goals are for each. Shylah assessed the amount of natural light that would be reaching every corner. (The lighting proved to be a bit challenging because of all the gorgeous mature trees around my house. I love them, but they sure block a lot of sunlight.) We also talked about how often I’d be able to pay attention to them and water them. This particular factor made me want to lean more minimalist. I didn’t want the chlorophyll of dozens of dead houseplants on my hands!

Shylah took down my goals and feedback on a notepad and returned to the shop to start pulling some plants that would be suitable for my space. “I worked with Whitney’s budget, picking out some specific things. Keeping her goal of moderation in mind, she wanted greenery in every space. This was a little tricky because they all had to live near the windows, but luckily there are many types of plants that thrive in lower lighting.”

She invited me to come check out what she had pulled and to bring in the few vases and vessels that I already had in mind to put plants in, plus pick out some more from the shop. I was so impressed by both their selection and by Shylah’s styling suggestions that my initial impulse to keep things minimal went straight out the window.

When she brought the plants over to my house to finally stage them, I could barely contain myself. The difference that a dozen or so fresh, green, lively houseplants made was unbelievable. I was totally hooked. And I might have mellowed out right then and there, but Shylah assured me so thoroughly that I can indeed keep these plants alive and thriving, beautifying my home and impressing friends and clients alike, and they looked so amazing in little groups, rejuvenating each room...well, I got more plants. I am now the proud parent of 33 happy plants, breathing life into every room in my house.

How, you may ask, did I go from killing cacti to confidently raising so many houseplants? I have Shylah to thank for that. On top of her wonderful styling skills, she gave me some very simple, straightforward advice that seemed to take the mystery out of plant parenting.

Shylah’s Simple Tips for Raising Houseplants

1. Most of the problems with plants come from overwatering them. People think that watering them equals caring for them, when in fact, most plants just kinda want to be left alone.

2. Light = food, so pay attention to how much your plant is getting. South-facing windows get more direct light than north, so stage your plants accordingly.

3. Plants are very resilient. If you notice them turning yellow, it’s most likely either from overwatering or not giving them enough light. Move them around in your home and find a spot that makes them happier.

4. Having daily contact with your plants gives you a chance to check the soil, prune any dead leaves, and make sure they don’t have dust building up. This also ensures that you are watering them as needed, and not just when you think about watering them.

5. Practice with your plants. Don’t be afraid of killing them, and don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for help. There are lots of great resources on the Art Terrarium website, plus the folks at the shop love sharing their plant knowledge!

If you’re still unsure whether plants are right for you (spoiler: they are), or are looking for someone to come in and tell you exactly what plants you should get, where to put them, and how to care for them, Shylah is your gal. Check out this great new styling service here and start the process of elevating your home or office space. The best part is, their $75 consultation deposit is redeemable toward your plant purchase of $350 or more. Shylah also does plant rentals and staging work for parties and large events.

I can’t thank Shylah enough for her styling skills, advice, laid-back approach to plant parenting, and most of all, her confidence in me. If I can successfully care for 33 plants in the middle of my nonstop schedule, anyone can!

Keynote Address for the 2018 Dress For Success Luncheon

Yesterday, I had the privilege of delivering the keynote address at this year’s Dress For Success luncheon. (If you have not heard of this amazing organization, do yourself a favor and check out the incredible work they do every day to empower women in our community and around the globe.) I was nervous the whole time I prepared for this speech, right up until the moment I climbed up to the stage. But as soon I looked out over the audience and saw so many familiar, supportive faces (including my mother’s), I knew that this day was about so much more than getting over my nerves. Read on for my full speech, and find links here and here to learn more about our incredible experience with the inspiring, impactful women of Dress For Success.

Hi Friends,

It is truly an honor to stand in front of you today. Thank you for having me and for supporting this amazing organization. The video you just watched was the culmination of a few months of planning, lots of happy tears, and the hard work and talent of many willing hearts.

Under the direction of Executive Director Jody White, founding partner Theresa Choi, the boots-on-the-ground service of Nicole Sickels, and Board leadership of Christine Osborne, Dress for Success serves as a guiding light for so many women looking to better themselves and further their professional careers. When searching for a female-empowering non-profit to partner with, there truly was no other option in my mind than Dress for Success.

The women in this video are participants of Dress for Success’ Professional Women’s Group. These women have worked hard on their lives, making changes, setting goals, and working their way toward personal success. But progress is hard to see from the inside. While supporters congratulate us on massive milestones and achievements, we’re still bogged down in the everyday experience of our own journeys.

I believe in my gut that a powerful portrait is transformative for the participant. Having an image that reflects your worth and value serves to reinforce your worth and value. The idea of playing a small part of the Professional Women’s Group’s journey to success – of being someone who could reflect and reinforce all their hard work, perseverance, and value – that idea excited me!

The day of the Dress for Success shoot, we had 10 women arrive, bravely willing to take a risk with us. In addition to my own team, I had arranged for three hair and makeup teams plus a videographer to be on site to create and capture the experience. By the time the women arrived in my studio to be photographed, they were glowing. It was apparent that the attention of my amazing colleagues had succeeded in making them feel truly beautiful. These women had just experienced the luxury of sitting for two hours, having professionals fussing over every detail of their appearance. If you’ve ever had your hair or makeup professionally done, you will understand just how amazing it is to be pampered in this way.

As I started in on my process, assuring them that I would do all the work, that all they had to do was follow directions, I could still see the apprehension in their faces. Can I do this? Will I like the way I look? Will I like the way I am represented?

As I turned the camera around to show them their powerful presence on the small screen, I had the pleasure and pride of seeing their whole demeanor change. Some women cried, putting their hands up to their mouths or waving the tears away from their eyes to keep their makeup in tact. Every single person had a variation of the same reaction: “…Wait, that’s me? That professional, boss-lady of a woman in that photo, that’s me?”

It was in that moment, a small shift in their demeanor, a sudden and real mental realization, that they were, in fact, already the professional women they had been striving so hard to be.  

I see some of the faces of these women in the audience today. I’ve had the chance to touch base with a few of them. Jasmin was recently on Wednesdays with Whitney with me, and is moving ahead full-force in realizing her dreams of owning her own business. Randi recently got a new job and was able to proudly use her headshot for their website. These women both verbalized to me how transformative our experience together was for them. How with one click of a button, one moment in time I captured as proof of what they had always hoped to be, I could turn the camera around and show them how much grit they had in them and how much potential they had yet to realize.

You see, this moment they were having. This is the moment I get to witness all the time. Those of you who have shot with me, and I see so many of your amazing, supportive faces in this room, you know that I take control of the situation and assure you that you can’t mess it up. I’m there to guide you and coax out all that brilliance and beauty you’ve been hiding under modesty and reservation. I live for the moment when I turn my camera around and my client gasps or sighs with relief, acknowledging that for perhaps the first time, they feel like they’ve truly been captured. They feel like they can relax, because somebody sees them for who they are, somebody sees their worth and has captured it on camera.

I often say, modesty has no place in my presence. Whatever you are good at, I want to know about. I encourage people to brag to me. Tell me what you’ve accomplished. Tell me your big dreams. Be bold in front of me. Be unapologetically extra. That is what the Dress for Success women were that day. They were bold, beautiful, polished, and completely and totally themselves.

Who out there in this audience has declined to be photographed? I won’t make you raise your hands, but I’m fairly certain I would see around 400 arms in the air, and mine would be one of them. Can you hear the words you say to yourself when you make a quiet excuse to step out of the frame? I can pretty much guarantee that the words you just said to yourself are not words you would say to your best friend or your child. These words are the foundation for the apprehension and the mindset we bring when we’re  being photographed. This is the hurdle we set out for ourselves. This is the hurdle I am there to coach you over.

I see it as my duty and honor to create space in my studio. Space for the people who enter to truly be themselves, to dig into their power, their presence, their ability to stop traffic and command attention. I hope to create a space where people can prove to themselves that all the good, amazing, powerful things they say to themselves are, in fact, true. And then, together, we create visual proof of their power.

We encounter situations every day where we are forced to either prove our worth, advocate on behalf of our worth, or resign ourselves to the thought that we are not, in fact, not worth it. That the job we didn’t get an interview for, the text we didn’t receive after a 3rd date, or the work meeting where your idea was ignored…. That these moments validate our deepest insecurities. And that little shadow of self-doubt creeps in, whispering to us that perhaps we are not worth it.

Then imagine you have been incarcerated or physically and emotionally abused by someone who, at one point, you said yes to loving. Imagine if you had a mother who told you you weren’t enough, or a father who left and never called. Many of you in this room don’t have to imagine these scenarios. You have lived them, breathed them, struggled to overcome them, and somehow, miraculously, come through on the other side. You have woken up every morning and decided to continue, decided to keep fighting, to keep being yourself.

But that question, that nagging question, am I worth it? Am I valuable? This is the question we never verbalize, but it affects every single action and decision we make. This is the question that is the hardest to answer because we have to do for ourselves, by ourselves. And we need tools to be able to make the right decision.

So what are these tools? The pathways to deciding that you are worth it? I’m afraid it seems, like so many of life’s mysteries, there is no right answer and no paved path. Everyone reaches the curve in the road to self love at a different point, with different pit stops and U-turns.  

But today I’ll give you my strategy. This is not foolproof. I fail at giving myself credit and validating my own worth almost as many times as I succeed, but I do believe that these strategies have propelled me forward and brought me to stand in front of you today.

Number one: Take small risks.

Two years ago, I started planning out a weekly video segment. I even pulled out a video camera and did a few interviews around town with the intention of cutting and splicing until the content was perfect and I felt “comfortable” with the outcome.

It should come as no surprise to you that you’ve never seen those first few episodes of Wednesdays with Whitney, because they were never produced. My need for perfection, my insecurity that I would look bad on video or say something inappropriate held me back from producing a final product.

A year of this dance passed, and I realized I was playing chicken with myself and that I had to step it up. I made a commitment to myself to start taking one small risk every week. And that’s how my Facebook Live series, Wednesdays with Whitney, was born. Because I decided I was worth it. I trusted (or hoped) that I could do it. And that any mistake I made would be worth the risk.

I am now 56 Wednesdays into this risk, and this weekly series has given me so much. It taught me all about the beautiful repercussions of generous collaboration. It taught me the value of  planning ahead, and preparing content and guests for weeks in advance. It taught me to ease up on my vanity, and that the show must go on. I have filmed Wednesdays with Whitneys wearing no makeup, wearing the same outfit I wore the day before, on very little sleep and after an outburst of tears, sometimes all of these things at the same time. But I don’t skip a week. And so many of you continue to watch and support me and even join me on camera.

So what is that one risk you’ve been playing chicken with? What is the thing you want to do, that takes a little bit of effort and feels a little uncomfortable? I encourage you to do it. Do it and then honor your risk by allowing that risk to turn into habit. And then let your habit build you up to your next risk. And then you take another leap because you’ve built up trust in yourself.

Number Two: Reach your limits.

There are lots of books and quotes out there telling us to be kind and gentle with ourselves, to let ourselves be and do what we can. I personally don’t subscribe to that philosophy. I think the best way to learn our limits is to reach them, and then figured out how to get beyond them.

I encourage you to figure out what is creating your limits. Because very often, what we see as external or permanent is simply a limit we allow ourselves to observe. Our society sets out arbitrary measures of success. And it is my opinion that the bar is set fairly low. Once you reach these benchmarks, we are encouraged to slow down, sink in, and get comfortable.

You have a notecard in front of you. I ask you at this time to write down your limit. Let this be a gut reaction. Be bold on this page. It is today’s playground.

Now take a look at your limit. What is stopping you from going past it? Do you need to take a risk? Make a plan? Ask for help? Or do you simply need to shake the dirt off, get out of your Netflix binge cycle, and realize that you get to set your own limits?

Change doesn’t live in comfort, and neither does impact. To have an impact, you have to jump and you have to land hard on your goal. To make an impact, people have to see that you leapt, hung out in the sky for a while, and then came down directly on your mark. To make an impact, you have to first decide that limits are yours to define.

Number Three: Have a mantra that reinforces both your beauty and your ability.

My mother gave me a great gift when I was younger. She told me at every downturn and every precipice of decision or disaster, “everything always works out” for you.”  Now, this was not told to me because I was lucky, or she would save me, or that life would be easy, but because she wanted me to believe that I had control over my destiny. That if I believed everything could work out, I would take all the necessary steps to ensure that it did work out. My mom has continued to repeat this mantra to me as I’ve experienced every moment (or month) of crisis and self-doubt. As I’ve had to build and rebuild and use every last ounce of my strength to reach my goals. My mom is the creator of my mantra, but it is my job, responsibility, and right to make this mantra work for me.

She also told me consistently and without hesitation that I am beautiful.

“I am beautiful.”

I’d like you to take a moment and repeat those three words in your head. Just those three words. No caveats and no rebuttals.

When I look at myself in the morning, I try first to think that I am beautiful, before I think anything else. And when the barrage of harsh secondary thoughts start flooding in, of all the things I could do to elevate or improve upon that beauty, of all the times I have failed my body and myself by not living up to my own standards, I try my best to go back to the beginning and remind myself that I am beautiful. I think this belief and knowledge of my own beauty is one of the reasons I’m able to encourage and coax out the beauty in my subjects.

So I encourage you to hold two mantras close. They don’t have to be mine, but they can be if they give you strength. The first mantra reinforces your capabilities. You are capable. You can achieve more than you ever thought possible. Things will always work out for you. The second affirms your physical worth, because I do believe we need to value ourselves physically just as much as we do mentally. And then repeat these things yourself daily, hourly, or by the minute if you need to hear it. Say nice things to yourself and let those nice things you say become your truth.

Thank you for going on this journey with me today. Thank you for nodding along and smiling up at me, for contributing every time I’ve asked. The amazing ability of the people of Des Moines to show up and support one another is the model on which I’ve built both my business and my life. You all have led the way, and I’m so honored to be a part of your journey.

Today, I got on this podium as a person who had never given a keynote address, as someone who was nervous that perhaps I wouldn’t do it right or wouldn’t meet my own, very high expectations. I’ll exit this stage proud, as someone who took a risk, surpassed yet another limit, and affirmed that I am beautiful and everything always works out for me. Friends, today I decided I was worth it and believe me when I say, you are, too.

The women of Dress for Success did a live suiting on stage of the lovely Q, whom I’d met at the Economic Centet for Success’ Dreambuilders Workshop. I can’t wait to see how far she’ll go!

Ivory House's 2018 Eliminate Litter Challenge

I started my annual litter pick-up campaign in 2017 when I saw just how much trash ends up blowing out of downtown dumpsters and garbage cans by the often-chaotic spring winds. I wasn’t sure if anyone else would be interested in my campaign, but darn it if I wasn’t going to give it a try!

One of the people who expressed interest in my mini trash bash was my friend Jackie Horsfall. Jackie and I had met through mutual Des Moines connections, and we’d bonded over an interest in local artists. She’s one of those people who takes pride in her community and really steps up to participate and do her part. When she saw my Facebook post calling for volunteers to help pick up litter downtown near my Walnut Street studio, she was fully on board—until the weather turned foul and plans fell through. Not one to be discouraged, she picked up trash on a more pleasant day and committed to participating in Ivory House’s 2018 Eliminate Litter Challenge.

“It was even more perfect because it happened to fall on Earth Day,” says Jackie. “I had planned to drive to a local park where I knew there was garbage lying around, but on my way, I realized that there was litter everywhere. You really don’t notice it until you’re looking for it. I drove one block and saw a ton of trash, particularly in a ditch near a Dunkin’ Donuts and some train tracks. I brought a few bags with me, but should have brought 800 more.”

Jackie and her fiancée, Adam, ended up using a large bin that they found discarded in the ditch as an extra container to gather more trash. The sheer amount of waste was a wake-up call for both of them. “I realized that simple steps can make a huge difference. You don’t have to go overboard with gloves and stuff. Just pick up one plastic bag, walk around the block picking up litter, and throw the bag away. You’d be amazed at what a difference one person can make in five minutes.”

Jackie also thinks beyond simply picking up things that have already been discarded. “Reducing single-use items like coffee cups, straws, and Styrofoam takeout containers isn’t hard to do and makes a huge impact when it comes to sustainability overall.”

To top it off, Jackie and Adam had gotten engaged just a couple of weeks before this year’s Eliminate Litter Challenge! They had won a pair of tickets to see “Harry Potter and the Cursed Child” in New York City, and Adam knew that this was the perfect time and place to pop the question. He carried the ring in his pocket through all of their sightseeing, on the subway, and halfway through the play. Finally, he got down on one knee and asked Jackie to marry him. I was lucky enough to be their chosen engagement photographer, and they did a fantastic job despite their nerves. “We’re both nervous, awkward people, so we were anxious about how this was going to go when we can barely even take a selfie! Whitney made us feel so relaxed and comfortable. It’s easy when you have a photographer who really knows how to give their clients what they need. Confidence is contagious.”

Congratulations to Jackie and Adam, and keep up the good work with the litter pick-up!

Unapologetically Extra

Unapologetically Extra Sessions stemmed from my need to have a bit more fun with my photography. I also wanted to give my clients an excuse to show up for themselves - for 15 minutes in an outfit that makes them feel a little "extra." These are not headshots, but rather a beautiful moment in time, intended to show our most powerful, confident and radiant selves. Thank you for going on this journey with me. I can't wait to see the "extra" we create together.

A couple of weeks ago, we held our second Unapologetically Extra photo shoot. The first session back in May was truly remarkable, with each woman showing up with their own unique, fierce attitude to be captured on camera. This second shoot was equally as special, and in some ways even more inspiring because we had a chance to speak with each person about what makes them unique. We asked them a series of poignant (and maybe probing) questions and since we asked this of them on the spot, I thought it was only fair to share my answers as well! Read on to see how these beautiful people opened up not only to my camera, but also shared their thoughts on their personal power, what makes them happy, what motivates them, and how they’ve grown into the individual I photographed that day - in all their “extra” glory.

Whitney Warne

I feel most powerful when I have a camera around my neck and I’m directing a truly amazing shot of someone who had no idea of how stunning they are. I love teaching people that they have power and can make a difference.

When I’m feeling less than motivated, I count down from five...four...three...two...one...and force myself to launch into whatever it is that I’m conquering. Another motivating mantra is, as my mother says, “Hydration is the key to success!”

 Something I’ve learned since my early twenties is that I am very good at lifting others up in a supportive way, but I am better at elevating others by claiming my own spot in the sunshine and working on my own terms.

Estee Roe

One of my favorite quotes is, “She believed she could, so she did.” It makes me feel confident and motivated. I feel most powerful when I’m at home with my family, in the kitchen, in my own space. I enjoy supporting others. Showing up for people, helping them, and just listening to what they have to say is something that makes me feel really good.

Alison Stricklett

I like to tell myself, “everything happens for a reason.” That might not sound very positive, but I see it as a hopeful sentiment. It reminds me that I can take on more than I think I can. If I could tell my 21-year-old self one thing, I would say that the things I was so worried about back then are not relevant anymore, and they weren’t as big of a deal as I felt like they were at the time.

Jessie Tobin

I’m a very decisive person, so I feel powerful when I make a decision because I’m confident in it. Confidence is something I’ve learned over the years, so looking back at my younger self, I wish I knew that the people around me were not as critical as I thought they were. Now, I tell myself “I am worthy,” whether that applies to a job promotion, love, success…it works in any scenario.

Tricia Rivas

My personal mantra is tattooed on my arm: “Live the life you’ve imagined.” I have sparrows around it because they are extremely loyal birds. They only have one mate their entire lives. I’ve been with my husband, Jeremy, for 22 years (but we’ve been friends since high school!). My faith is what keeps me grounded in this mantra, and what keeps me focused, motivated, and happy. Things always get better, and negativity doesn’t need to control you.

Kelsey Russell

I believe that physical and emotional strength go hand-in-hand. I am a firm believer that there is no “ideal” body type, but I truly find my power when I’m in the gym working on my physical strength. The more effort and energy I put into my workouts, the more confidence I have outside of the gym. I tell myself, “Why not you?” Everyone has dreams, but it takes courage and confidence to chase them.  

Jennifer Canelos

I was in a professional women’s group a while ago, and one of our assignments was to write a personal mantra. I have it saved on my phone to read every once in a while to stay motivated. Part of it goes, “I use my spiritual gift of creativity to inspire and empower others, and intentionally seek moments of joy and gratefulness in my own imperfect, breathtaking journey.” I think it’s so important to be who God created you to be, and not what the world expects you to be.

Rebecca Lake

When I can “be the light,” in either a personal or professional situation, it not only elevates others, but it helps lift myself up, too. I love my job as a chiropractor; when I have the opportunity to heal people from the inside out. Beyond that, simple gestures like complimenting a stranger have mutual repercussions that brighten my day as well as theirs. You just never know who’s having a crappy day, so you might as well spread that light.

Ivy Boyd

When I’m going through a tough time, I remind myself that these experiences are all helping to shape me into the artist I’m meant to be. I am proud to be able to work around any obstacle—kids, heat, weddings, anything. I strive to be the best part of my clients’ day, the force of calm in what might be a very stressful situation. Sometimes I think back to when I was younger and would get sad or discouraged, and I wish I could go back tell myself, “You don’t even know how good it’s about to get.”

Reed Rinderknecht

I think guys are especially bad at keeping in touch with their friends. There’s not a set infrastructure for these kinds of relationships that are based on emotional support. If I’m thinking about a friend, I’ll call him up, just to check in and see how he’s doing. More often than not, those spontaneous conversations come at a good time. I’ve learned a lot dealing with painful relationships in the past, so it feels really good to connect with a friend who might be going through something similar in his own life.
 

Wednesdays with Whitney: Kirsten Anderson

The road to rebuilding my self-confidence has been long and winding with plenty of bumps along the way. It has been five years since I was fired from my job as Communications Director of Iowa Senate Republicans, and one year since my very public trial against the State of Iowa. My life has changed in ways that I never thought it would, and now I am strong enough to know my worth and ensure that others know theirs, too.

To understand what I mean by having low self-confidence, let me paint you a picture: Over the course of five years working for Senate Republicans, I went from optimistically and proactively doing my work (writing newsletters, press releases, talking points, radio scripts, and social media posts) to fearfully piecing words together, hoping I wouldn’t be noticed, keeping my head down awaiting the next verbal lashing. I was beaten down, crying daily, praying to make it through the day and hoping my family wouldn’t notice the burdens I brought home.

This is what sexual harassment and the subsequent retaliation did to me. The lewd, disgusting comments and jokes about me, my appearance, and my work broke me down. It led me to counseling, antidepressants, a strained marriage and the loss of a job. These bumps in my winding road were painful, but I want to talk about it in the hopes that it will resonate with others. I want to show them that my winding road is relatively smooth now and theirs will be, too.

One sharp turn in my road was a decision to sue the State of Iowa for wrongful termination, retaliation, and sexual harassment. After my fourth complaint of sexual harassment and my bosses retaliating against me, claiming my previously stellar writing and work were substandard, I was very suddenly fired. My four-year legal battle against the state ended in a win for me and a huge sense of vindication that my work was NOT substandard. I could get a job (albeit not in politics) after my name was publicly dragged through the mud, and I could survive the nasty things people said about me (internet trolls are the worst!).

I finally realized that I was mentally strong. I could handle a lot, and of just about anything! It was like a light bulb switched on in my mind. It helped me see that no one should go through a work situation like what I experienced. No one should be beaten down to the point of exhaustion at their workplace. No one deserves that. I want to help others realize their worth and help empower them to change their work environments for the better so they do not become beaten-down victims. That’s why I’m on a mission to end workplace harassment in my lifetime.

Advice to all: If you see something, say something. It is OK to say something, in the moment, after the moment, just bring it to light because if you don't draw the line, people will continue to cross that line and think it's OK.

Interested in talking to Kirsten more? Reach out her via politicchick78@gmail.com to experience her newest initiative: "The training is anti-harassment training, but in a more basic form, it's culture change training. What I offer is more than a 30-minute stodgy video. I offer comprehensive, positive change for an organization. I'm targeting organizations looking to invest in their workforce and foster positive change to boost productivity. Too early to tell about legislators at the Capitol - but my efforts are non-partisan. This is a non-partisan issue!"

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Watch our Wednesdays with Whitney chat with Kirsten Anderson below!

Don't Lose Your Dinosaur

I’m sure I’ve seen Stepbrothers once or twice in my lifetime, but Brittney Ledford, the owner of One Sweet Kitchen, has that movie memorized. When introducing herself and her delicious cookies, she shared her favorite movie quote and mantra  “Don't lose your dinosaur”. This quote is so impactful that she tattooed a brontosaurus on her foot and named him Ralph. Now, Ralph is with her everywhere, a daily reminder that her dinosaur is by her side. When I asked this brand new business owner what her dinosaur was, she responded simply and resolutely, “Baking.”

Since Brittney told me this contemporary fable, I’ve been struggling to find my dinosaur. I’m sure a lot of people expect my dinosaur to be photography, but that’s never been the case for me. Photography has also been a pathway for me, a way to communicate and connect - but my photography is not about me. It’s not what makes me silly, or weird or completely happy just being myself. And it’s not what I choose to do on a day off. In fact, there are many vacations I go on where I don’t even take my camera.

So I did a little digging: What did I used to love? What did I do that was a little selfish and brought me SO much joy? There are 3 things that come to mind.

I used to sing. I sang loud and constantly. I still know all the words to most songs on the radio and will sing in front of anyone whom I’m comfortable around. But I no longer sing in public. So much of my life is public now and this small thing is something I wish I could share, but I’ve lost the confidence in my voice, in my ability to project and make people notice. It’s so strange. As I lost confidence in my singing voice, I gain confidence in all other aspects of my life. As I reflect now, singing used to be the only part of me that was loud and proud. Now, I am loud and proud all day everyday. Perhaps that is something to be grateful for.

I used to read. I used to devour books. I used to read fiction for fun and stay up all night until I finished a book, not caring that it would affect my entire next day. Now, I read for knowledge. I read to motivate myself and I read to improve. I lost my patience for fiction.

I used to journal. I have journals dating back from 7th grade through college. They are hilarious and pivotal to my formation. These blog posts have become my way of flexing that muscle, of getting back into the groove of sharing my soul. But now it’s more structured. These words have purposed. Perhaps I miss the lack of purpose certain life activities used to have. No everything has direction and a timeline. I want to be frivolous, careless and absent. I want to forget things and show up late and stay in bed all day. But the act of following through on any of these things causes SOOO much anxiety, that I stop being lazy and I take action. Now, my body is trained for action. Trained to jump from one activity to the next. One text to the phone call to the email. To the book that will take me on my next journey upward. And as I write these words I realize, leisure is the dinosaur I lost.

Watch my Wednesdays with Whitney chat with Brittney Ledford below!

Professional Advice from Emily Abbas

Click above to watch our Wednesdays with Whitney interview with Emily Abbas.

Throughout her career, Emily Abbas has been fortunate to work with amazing leaders and teams. Here are a few simple pieces of advice she shared while in our studio this week.

Surround yourself with people who are not like you

It’s extremely rewarding to work with a team that is diverse in both thought and identity. If you have a room full of people who share more in common than not, those people won’t push each other or challenge each other’s viewpoints. Creating an inclusive environment, filled with people who have different experiences and backgrounds, will inherently result in more dynamic ideas and solutions.

Be a counselor instead of an order-taker

Don’t be afraid to ask questions in order to gain insight. For example, if someone asks for an ad, an order-taker will give them the best darn ad they can, while a counselor will ask questions to determine if an ad is really what is needed. Two great questions to start with include: What are you trying to accomplish? Who are you trying to reach?

Add value by contributing

When others see you add value, they will seek out your opinion. Being able to think on your feet and come up with an immediate solution based on past experience is one way to earn that respect. Of course, you aren’t expected to know everything and can always change your mind, but leaders appreciate an in-the-moment gut reaction, when possible.

Be true to yourself

You will find the most success when you play to your strengths. If you’re naturally bossy, be bossy (in a kind way). If you’re naturally funny, use your humor. People will quickly figure out when you are not being genuine. Self-awareness, or how others perceive us, is something we can all work on improving.

Give back to your community

We are fortunate to live in a great community, and it is great because of those who have invested before us. First explore many options, but at some point find an organization you are passionate about and commit to it. This allows you to more easily say no to other requests and focus on giving at a deeper level to two or three nonprofits in order to truly make a difference.

From Whitney:

Do any of these topics spark an interest in you? If so, please reach out to Emily. I’m sure she would be as willing to discuss with you as she was with us in this week’s Wednesday with Whitney Facebook Live video (see above).

About Emily:

Des Moines native and community advocate Emily Abbas joined Bankers Trust in 2014 as the Bank’s first Chief of Staff. She currently serves as Senior Vice President, Chief Marketing and Communications Officer for the largest community bank in Iowa. Emily gives back to our community as Chair of Drake University’s National Alumni Board and a member of the Drake University Board of Trustees, a member of the Governor’s STEM Advisory Council, and on the Board of Directors at the Robert D. and Billie Ray Center as well as the Downtown Community Alliance. She was named one of “14 People to Watch in 2014” by The Des Moines Register, and in 2016 she was honored as the “Emerging Woman of Influence” by the Des Moines Business Record.

Girl Scouts Grown Up

Click the image above to watch my Wednesdays with Whitney interview with Jessie Tobin of Girl Scouts of Greater Iowa.

I love working with women, promoting women-owned businesses, and empowering women in our community. One common thread that I’ve noticed with these women is that many of them are former Girl Scouts, which makes complete sense when considering the skills, resolution, and morals of the organization and how they transfer into a well-rounded and well-supported adulthood! For this week's installment of Wednesdays with Whitney, I talked to my friend Jessie Tobin, who is the Director of Philanthropy at Girl Scouts of Greater Iowa, about some of the amazing qualities the Girl Scouts can instill in a person. I also rounded up some of my clients who were Girl Scouts growing up and asked them about their experiences. Read on for some favorite memories, skills, and (of course) cookies! 

Belle DuChene

One of my favorite memories is earning a hologram bookmark as a prize for being a top cookie seller. It was a great day because it represented all the hard work I had done to learn how to ask family and friends for their support, by phone and in person. I was a shy little girl, so that was a huge growing experience. (I still have that bookmark somewhere!)

My first sewing experience was learning to attach my badges to my sash. Little did I know, a Textiles and Apparel Design major was in my future!

My favorite cookie is Shortbread (Trefoils).

Christina Baker:

When I was in Girl Scouts, my troop took a trip to a ranch and learned horseback riding, archery, and the value of grooming and cleaning up after animals. While I don’t use these skills daily, they definitely supported my love of being outdoors and kindled passion for horseback riding, a hobby that I’d like to reconnect with as an adult.

Earning my cooking badge taught me so much about safe food prep techniques, measuring, patience, and resilience when something didn’t turn out right that isn’t taught in schools today. I continue to use these skills to cook and bake to this day. Some things turn out better than others, but I continue to learn!

I loved Samoas growing up, but now I think they are called Caramel deLites.  Simply indulgent and heavenly!

Sarah Noll Wilson

I'm a proud Girl Scout from Troop #238 Dubuque, Iowa! Growing up, I had terrible home sickness (I suspect this was really anxiety) and my poor mom would take me to the bus to get picked up for summer day camp. I would cry so hard it would make me sick. (Keep in mind, this was just day camp, we weren't even spending the night.) Finally, my mom told me, "I want you to try it. If you come home and didn't enjoy it, you don't have to go the rest of the week". Once I was pushed outside of my comfort zone and arrived at camp, I fell in love. I meet great friends, learned cool skills, and knew that someday I was going to be a counselor. While I didn't end up working at Camp Little Cloud when I was older, I worked as director of a day camp for at-risk kids for two years. Next to my current work, that was the best job I ever had. I might not have had that experience if it weren't for Girl Scout camp and a little push by my mother.

As a Girl Scout, I learned lots of great skills from camping, to helping others, to sales. But perhaps the best lesson I didn't learn until much later in life. My mom was our Girl Scout troop leader, and we were competing in a sock hop lip sync competition at my school. We chose to lip sync "Leader of the Pack." I wanted to be the lead girl so badly, but my mom chose a newer member of our troop. As a kid, all I knew is that I wasn't chosen, and I was upset. But the pain was numbed when we won first place. It wasn't until I was much older when my mom and I were talking about our Girl Scouting days. I had shared with her how bummed I was when I wasn't selected to be the lead in the competition. My mom asked if I knew why she chose the other girl. Of course I didn't, because as a kid you only see the world through your own perspective. Mom told me that this girl (who later became a good friend of mine) had had a really tough life, raised by a single mom who didn't have much money, and my mom thought she could benefit from having the spotlight on her. At the time I hadn't seen those challenges, but as an adult I could. I can confidently say my mom, our Scout leader, made the absolute right decision. I love the fact that lessons from my time in Girl Scouts still persist.

Hands down, my favorite cookie is Samoas (or Carmel deLights). What's not to love about coconut and caramel?

Christina Moffatt

One year when I was in Girl Scouts, I worked so hard to sell cookies so that I could earn this puppet that looked like  a rabbit in a hat. And I did it! My mom kept that rabbit for years because I worked so hard to earn it.

My favorite badge to earn was the cooking badge. My love for food and baking started when I was a Brownie, and now I own a bakery! As an adult, I sell cookies and baked goods from my bakery, and help a new generation of Girl Scouts earn their baking badges and business badges.

My favorite cookie has to be the Tagalong! (Now Peanut Butter Patties - chocolate and peanut butter, hands down.)

Jody White

I loved my time in the Girl Scouts. My mom was one of our troop leaders. I remember being so excited about the meetings and wearing our Girl Scout uniforms: the brown dress, long socks, white shirt, ribbon neck ties, and of course the “sashes!” I think the best skills we learned were how to be a leader and how to be a good salesperson. I would sell boxes of cookies at a local bank. Just by selling cookies, you learned about event planning, how much time it takes to set up and tear down, inventory, and money management. It’s definitely a valuable life skill learned at a very early age! To this day, I still love planning events!

My favorite cookies have shifted over the years. My favorite growing up was Trefoils. Today, I like Lemonades and frozen Thin Mints...and still Trefoils! Yum!

Katie Patterson

I attended and worked at Girl Scout Camp Tanglefoot from fourth grade through mid-college. I'm still proud of the day I earned my silver award. It was one of the first times in life when I truly took responsibility for my own work getting completed and seeing something through. My time with the Girl Scouts inspired some of my life's best memories, and it proved to be a completely foundational experience for who I am today.

As for cookies, I love Peanut Butter Patties. The blend of soft peanut butter with the crunchy cookie covered in chocolate is everything.

Michelle Wilkie

There are so many great memories from my time as a Girl Scout in Honolulu. I got to participate in a lot of different activities, like having a sleepover in a former Hawaiian royal home (which was basically like having a slumber party in a museum - still not sure how they trusted a bunch of young girls to not break anything), camping all over the island, meeting dignitaries from other countries, and having culture days where we learned about the different backgrounds of the girls who represented our troop.

The relationships built through Girl Scouts is the constant thread and the best memory. The laughter and sometimes childhood disagreements around who got the best camping cot, those are the moments that stick out. My former troop leader actually attended my bridal shower. Many, many, years after I was in her troop. She still keeps in contact with all the girls and has talked about having a reunion in Las Vegas (at least we wouldn't have to fight over cots!). I hope it works out. Either way, it's amazing to see how these relationships have stood the test of time.

I was the highest grossing cookie salesperson on my troop and had a badge for it. To this day, my family will joke about my strategic sales plan as a six-year-old. I could literally walk up to anyone and sell them a box of cookies. I even had my territories mapped out! That experience provided me with the strong skill and ability to sell my ideas, and the courage to pitch those ideas to anyone. I didn't realize this was a unique strength until others started commenting on my fierceness to go out and strike up a conversation. To me, it's completely natural. And I honestly think I got that from Girl Scouts!

Samoas are the best cookie! Hands down! Although I learned after moving to Iowa that in the Mid-West they're called Caramel deLights. The cookies are slightly different but both still give that delicious coconut, caramel, chocolate goodness I love.

From Whitney:

I wanted to give an extra shout-out to some of my FemCity ladies and special supporters of the Girl Scouts! Left to right, a big thank you to Dr. Rebecca Lake of Shine Chiropractic, Michelle Swanson, and Kelsey Russell of Remax Precision Realty. (Not pictured is Trish of Trixie's Salon.)

Travel Wedding Tips

Click above to watch Wednesdays with Whitney: Travel Weddings!

I have shot weddings all over the place: La Jolla, Austin, Charleston, Sonoma, the Hamptons, Los Angeles, St. Thomas, and the Finger Lakes. I’ve shot engagement sessions in New York City and Washington, D.C., and I am about to shoot a wedding in San Francisco. For anyone who might be planning a travel wedding (or a destination wedding, the difference being that the bride and/or groom actually live in the place we're traveling to), here are some important things I’ve learned.

Destinations are amazing for those of you really, really desiring an intimate wedding. They are great for people who travel and want to experience new things, but lets not kid ourselves:  Planning a travel or destination wedding does not mean less work. You have to rely 100% on internet referrals and the opinions of people you've never met. Oftentimes, once you’ve picked your venue, the venue will provide vendors and you just have to trust that those are the best people to handle your big day.

My advice when planning a travel or destination wedding is to think about who you're inviting and whether they can get there. Cost is prohibitive, and so is location. For example, the Zika virus has taken out half of the places we normally have destination weddings, and there would be many people who couldn’t attend an event in these areas. That being said, some of those locations are the most beautiful, magical, romantic places on Earth to get married. Just know going in that there will be unexpected factors to consider if this is the route you choose to take.

One of the biggest benefits of a destination wedding is that you don’t have to pay for any decorations. The location itself is the best decoration you'd ever need! When people are in a new place, everyone will be more relaxed if they don't have to think about planning their local transportation. I highly recommend keeping your wedding all in one location by picking a place that would accommodate the ceremony, reception, and where guests can stay overnight.

When considering what you need to bring, keep it simple. You have to rely on the site for food, decoration, venue, and DJ. This leaves your personal items, wedding attire, and of course, your photographer to fly with you.

Reasons to Bring Your Own Photographer

• Frequently, resorts will have  a designated photographer. These preassigned photographers are rarely going to match your stylistic tastes. If you go with a local or venue-preferred photographer, make sure you vet them and their work just like you would any other.

• You're not going to know this person before the day of your wedding, so you will not have an existing rapport with them. Taking a trusted photographer with you guarantees that you will already have a relationship with the person capturing this day, in a location you and your guests have invested in.

• Best of all, your relationship doesn't end when you get back on a plane to fly home. You get to continue working with that person in your hometown after your wedding. There is an added element of accountability when you're designing an album or viewing your files back home. Whoever you chose should not be the default choice. You are already investing in an incredible location, and the photographer you choose should be up to your standards and able to capture your day in unforgettable images.

A Word about Beaches at Sunset

While a beach at sunset sounds ultra romantic (and it is!), you're dealing with serious backlighting and unpredictable weather. You need a photographer who is technically adept to pull that off. This is not the time or place for a friend or uncle with a nice camera to take over. My travel weddings have been some of the most technically challenging shoots I've ever done. Not only are we all dealing with heat, bugs, water, and waves, but the lighting itself can be a real issues if you haven't had education and experience shooting in these kinds of areas.

I think having a destination or travel is one of the best decisions you can make if your priorities are a small wedding, adventure, and travel. Just go into it prepared and know that this kind of event doesn’t equate to any less planning or investment.

Unapologetically Extra

The day we held our first Unapologetically Extra mini session was absolutely magical. It was day full of constant, positive energy with each woman showing up for herself. But instead of selfishness and self-consciousness, as it could have so easily become, the vibe was truly that of self-confidence. Our unassuming spot in front of a gravel pit in Water Works Park provided us with extraordinary results. These women came with fierce energy and enthusiasm for 15 minutes each, and the results are stunning.

I asked everyone to show up just a little bit extra, with flashy jewelry and big hair and that jacket they could never wear to work. It was their attitudes brought the rest of the sass. The side of themselves that opened up for me on this day was the best, most confident version, the woman that sometimes hides deep down inside for fear of being labeled “too much.” I love this side of people, and I love capturing it in photographs. I think that this side deserves to come out more often. Our Unapologetically Extra shoots are just that: a way to let her out for a little bit and celebrate that side of herself.