Wednesdays With Whitney: Vanessa McNeal

“What I know for sure is that speaking your truth is the most powerful tool we all have. And I’m especially proud, and inspired by all the women who have felt strong enough and empowered enough to speak up and share their personal stories.” - Oprah Winfrey at the Golden Globes

Over the past year, I have become increasingly aware of the power of my voice, of the resonance of my honesty and my ability to be a champion for others. Wednesdays with Whitney has morphed into this amazingly powerful platform for sharing, and I couldn't be more honored to see all the participation and engagement this segment receives. I love hearing the reactions from my Facebook friends who tune in every week to see what's next.  Together, we've helped share and promote so many people's stories and dreams, trials and triumphs.

Today we dove deep into a tough topic. I think my audience was ready and I know I'm ready to start making a bigger impact.

Vanessa McNeal is a powerhouse. At the age of 24, she is already a national speaker, film producer, and business owner. Her critical acclaims range from "Best Director" to "Woman of Tomorrow." She has overcome adversity from a very young age and has turned that adversity into her passion. This woman is already making huge waves with her honesty and bravery and today she shared her story and mission yet again, in hopes of garnering support for her latest project Gridshock. 

A little bit about Vanessa: 

Vanessa is a survivor. Neglected and continually molested throughout childhood and then sexually assaulted at a college preparatory program at the age of 15, Vanessa was forced to overcame the many faces of rape culture. Despite of all this, Vanessa overcame the shaming and silence that usually surrounds sexual assault victims. She was the first in her family to graduate high school and went on to pursue her bachelor’s degree at Iowa State University. She received her Master’s degree in Social Work at the University of Northern Iowa. In 2017, Vanessa founded her production company McNeal Media with the goal of creating social change through the art of storytelling and has experienced much success in her business.

Words from Vanessa:

I took a human sexuality class my Freshman year at ISU. My professor took the time to define sexual violence. She also defined molestation.  She followed these definitions by sharing her personal story of being a  survivor of sexual violence. This was the first time in my life I had a name for my experience. That moment gave me power. It totally changed my life. I had lived my life thinking I was the only one who had experienced these violent acts. My professor stood in front of our class with no shame and owned her experience. She wasn't a victim. She was a survivor and I wanted to be that too. She gave me the confidence to own my story and stand powerfully in my experience. That's when I started the work of healing. 

I spent my college years healing and growing.  Then one night a friend asked me, "What do you want your legacy to be?" No one had asked me that question before. The seed was planted. I went home inspired. Already I knew my legacy would be driven by my desire to share my personal story with anyone and everyone I could.

I got into film senior year of college. Film is such a powerful form a storytelling. The realization that I could share I could share my story in documentary form took hold and I started reaching out to local filmmakers. With their help, I was able to share my story 6 months later in documentary form. I was overwhelmed by the support I received. It was in that moment I knew I wanted to create social change through film. I have produced a short film and a feature-length documentary about male survivors since then. I have been able to touch so many people with my story and the stories of others.  

Vanessa's next documentary project is a feature length film bringing awareness to the underground sex trafficking industry in Iowa. Thats right folks. Our state is one of the most profitable places for the buying and selling of HUMANS for sex. The stories Vanessa has shared with me are shocking and horrifying. I want to close my ears and run away - but that is exactly the opposite of what I'm going to do. Instead, I'm asking for us to stand together, to demand something better and require consequences for these depraved and disgusting actions. I'm asking you to donate to the creation of Gridshock, a documentary that is sure to turn heads and bring the hammer down on all who participate in this terrible cycle. Thank you in advance for your action. Together, we are stronger. Together, we make change. 

Wednesdays With Whitney: Empowerment Session Winner

I was overwhelmed by the beautiful nominations received for the Empowerment Session Campaign. The idea, to give one deserving woman her day in the sun. Show one stunning woman how beautiful she is, inside and out. What started out as awarding a complimentary creative portrait session, quickly morphed into something bigger. More women wanted to contribute to the contest and give away their time and talents. 

The Empowerment Session team consists of Ivy Boyd, makeup artist extraordinaire; Sarah Noll Wilson, leadership coach powerhouse; and Christina Davis, personal stylist and Cabi consultant. The grand prize package: a complimentary two-hour clothing session with Christina, makeup application with Ivy prior to the photo shoot, and a 90 minute creative portrait session with me.

The lucky winner, Mary Bacon, was nominated by her daughter Angela Ames. Mary is a fighter, survivor and the epitome of selfless. In her daughter's words:

"My mother is so beautiful...let's start by in 2005 she beat stage IV breast cancer. She is legally blind but spends endless days making blankets for those in need. She has a rare form of leukemia that fights against her healthy blood cells as well as her good, in addition to currently waiting her chance for a new kidney and finally beating colon cancer. To say my mother is strong would be an understatement. A woman that should be full of life resentment, she actually just wants to do what she can to get back home to keep working on blankets! This woman is incredible!!! She doesn't fuss over the little things, because to her "that's life" and "well that's the stuff that God gave her to deal with." She's so beautiful, her eyes are a stunning blue, and she could really use a day about her, to highlight how amazing she is."

"She is a true definition of humanitarian , a warrior, but above those an amazing mother. Because she never gives up. She sees ten paths to a way out of a dead end. Her girls mean everything to her, nothing, not even being told that she has a few short months to live would keep her from encouraging her girls to do what makes them truly happy."

"I recently moved to California, taking her beloved grandchildren (boys 8 & 7) 1600 miles away. My husband took a new job. My mom would never stand in the way of someone wanting to move closer to their dreams. Most grandmas would be devastated but not my mom. She put her own feelings aside! She misses my husband (who she loves very much, she misses her grandsons but she just says, 'I have to get better so I can come visit.' This woman is truly a blessing to anyone that has her in their lives!"

I drew additional names for extra prizes. Amanda is the winner of a Professional Portrait Session. She was nominated by her sister-in-law. A snippet from her nomination:

"I have known Amanda (my sister-in-law) since she was in high school. She nearly died when I was dating her brother (now my husband) due to long-qt syndrome, which is a heart issue. She had a pacemaker put in when she was 16. It completely changed her trajectory in life. She has always been an active, giving and outgoing individual but has had many obstacles put in her way. On her journey to realizing how strong she is, she built her life up around what she can and can not do (physically) given her heart condition. In the last year, she also has been diagnosed with alopecia. Amanda’s beauty comes from her love of others and her beautiful smile. When she smiles you can’t unsee how beautiful she is. It’s incredible contagious. As a case worker for Broadlawns, she brings her beauty and strength to the lives of those who are less fortunate. While this work is difficult and challenging, she manages to do it with extreme care and grace, that most can not. This is exactly what makes her beautiful and strong at the same time- her very giving heart."

Last but not least, Teresa Tomka is the winner of a $100 Cabi gift card. She was nominated by a friend. The three adjectives used to describe Teresa:

"1) Strong - so strong. She lost her husband in a sudden, tragic accident. She has five children. She owns a business. STRONG. 2) Giving. She gives back her resources, her time, her laughter. 3) And speaking of laughter, this lady is F-U-N! An evening with her is an evening laughing."

Thank you to everyone who took the time to nominate a woman. You are incredible for taking the time and recognizing the powerful women in your life. All participants, nominees and nominators, are receiving the opportunity to participate in a Championing Workshop. 

Words from Sarah Noll Wilson on the workshop: 

"Do you build up or break down? Learn how to powerfully acknowledge and build up those around you. 

Everyone is capable of greatness and everyone is capable of revealing greatness in others.  Think about this, in every moment you impact those around you, is it the impact you want? By being a powerful champion for others you help others see their most powerful self even when they can't see it themselves. Join us for this transformative workshop where you will learn and practice the skills to be a champion for others and yourself too!

Wednesdays With Whitney: Karla Walsh

Words from Whitney:

So how do you appreciate your body? How do you say, "hell yes" to the skin you live in? For me, it's wearing bright colors and attention grabbing clothing and NEVER saying no when someone asks me to be in a photo. For other people, it's baring it all in a boudoir inspired Empowerment Session. 

I hear so many people talk about how empowering it can be to step in front of my camera and see yourself in a completely positive and affirming light. Facilitating this feeling is, hands down, the best part of my job. So when Karla Walsh asked if I would do a boudoir shoot with her, I jumped at the chance to help her feel super powerful and at home in her body. 

I don't have a bed in my studio, so instead, we focused on what made Karla feel the strongest and most powerful. For her - that meant her lady boss, custom tailor suit jacket with a corset and a pair of tight jeans. It also meant a tight dress and bra and pantie set - but that was secondary to the first powerhouse outfit. At the end of the day, what Karla wore was hardly the sexiest part. It was her courage and vulnerability that made the real impact. 

Thank you Karla, for always taking risks. For putting yourself out there so that others will have the confidence to do so. Your courage inspires us all. 

Words from Karla:

"Thank you so much for the inspiration and push you just gave me—and more women out there just like me." 

"I hope you are moved to shift or at least reconsider your relationship with your body after reading this article." 

Comments like these made it all oh-so-worth-it to bare my empowerment photos (and the story behind them—no pun intended) on Shape.com. 

Whitney, a magician behind the camera and in front of all humans, made the experience one with zero intimidation and all the body acceptance. Finally. After more than a decade of nitpicking at any spot with a hint of curve, I was able to see my body for what it was. A powerhouse that can row for 10,000 meters. A tool that can transport me by foot for miles. A means to give the very best hugs to all I love. I only wish every individual could see her body with as much love as I did the day my story hit the site.

Empowerment Portrait Session: Christina Davis

My first encounter of the amazing Christina Davis was at a "First Impressions" workshop she delivered at my very first FemCity Des Moines event. To no surprise, she made an excellent impression and I knew instantly that I wanted to work with her. Christina is dynamic. She draws people in with her immense confidence and kindness. She practices what she preaches in every way. Her business, Outside-In Consulting specializes in defining personal branding for her clients and offering a streamlines presentation of self, both in business and life. Christina also has a big heart and will be contributing her styling talents to her the winner of our Empowerment Portrait Session and I can't wait to see how her way of empowering women influences our winner. Nominate your empower women here! 

As a mom to two delightful daughters, I find myself talking a lot about what others see.  "Mind your table manners, say please and thank you, look people in the eyes when you speak to them, people before technology, brush your hair, brush your teeth and finally, YES, if that makes you feel beautiful, you should wear it."

If an outsider were to listen in on this dialogue, they might begin to think I'm teaching my children to focus on what others think - that the world is judgmental or we should work hard to impress others.  I believe there is another important truth to all of this.  

My children's funny, engaging personalities are huge and attractive parts of who they are. But other than my core job of teaching them to be good people, I am also teaching them how to best communicate who they are.  What we say, how we look and act, sends a message to the world.  Others are deciding, do I want to know them more or not?  Are they "my people"?  Are they kind, thoughtful or not? Are they genuine? Do they LOVE non matching socks? When I coach my kids, I call this parenting. As we get older, this attention to detail is called personal branding. 

Kelly Marble, Outside-In Consulting Client

Our image, what we convey outwardly, otherwise known as our brand, provides these future opportunities to connect. Setting intention behind our personal brand is empowering and gives us control over who we draw to us. Clothing is a huge part of personal branding. A unique and authentic look is empowering, not just for ourselves but for others to witness. We are able to send a message about who we are by how we are put together. What do people see? Creativity, spunk, attention to detail? Someone happy and alive? Someone tired and haphazard?

Sommer Sharon, Outside-In Consulting Client

If we use personal branding to reflect our true selves accurately to others, we have a high likelihood of attracting those with whom we can have true and meaningful relationships, both in our professional and personal lives.

I am SO excited to offer a two hour clothing consultation to the winner of Ivory House Photography's Empowerment Portrait Session giveaway. I think this is the perfect opportunity for a deserving woman to pamper herself head to toe and really take a moment to take inventory of her power to enable her to design her ideal personal brand for the camera!

Empowerment Portrait Session: Julie Ross

A note from Whitney: 

Several people have asked if I get bored shooting in my studio. This is such a crazy thought that I find myself laughing out loud at the question. There is NOTHING monotonous about photographing humans. I became a photographer to capture people, to show my subject's strength, beauty and individuality. So perhaps it seems strange that I photograph on such simple with such a simple background, black, white, brick. But to me - every human is so unique and that's the point. Take everything else away, and let's focus on what's important - YOU.

Everyday, every person is a new adventure. The people who walk into my studio wow me. My clients give ME strength and perspective and humility. They show me that life is hard and you survive. They show me that you can take on terrible loss and come out the other side, more confident, more powerful and more present.  Working with a warrior like Julie Ross is a perfect example of the inspiration I get to experience daily. She exemplifies someone who I would nominate for an Empowerment Portrait. Nominate a woman warrior in your life and she could be surprised with a complimentary photo shoot and styling.

To Julie - thank you for sharing your strength, your humor and your generosity of spirit. I know you inspire so many to keep moving forward. 

Words from Julie Ross:

In general, I'm not a big fan of getting my picture taken. Somehow, I always find myself being captured in an awkward position or flashing a weird smile. I have convinced myself I am so much cuter in my imagination and most of the photos I take are not real! Because of these thoughts, the last time I sat down for a studio portrait was in 2004 - 13 years ago. As I have gotten to know Whitney and followed along with her portrait work, I saw she seemed to bring out a relaxed version of each person she photographed.

#TBT 2004

Even with all my hesitations, I also know the importance of having a reflection of yourself for loved ones to cherish years down the road. Having lost my husband at an early age, I was grateful for each and every picture I had and especially the recent portrait of him taken at Pioneer. So, I decided to reach out and do a portrait session with Whitney.

I actually felt pretty relaxed before the shoot. I decided to wear just one outfit -  my “uniform.” A lovely jacket with a simple blouse, leggings and a fabulous heel. How could I go wrong? It’s what I normally wear so there was nothing to labor about. I chose to have Whitney’s make-up artist style me (which I love doing!) so I showed up in jeans and let them do their work! 

Confidence is a tricky thing and its what the camera picks up the most. I tend to be a confident person and live by the motto of “Never Let Them See You Sweat.”   I wanted these photos to be a reflection of my motto and I knew I needed to use my body language to convey that emotion.  I am not a particularly dainty person, I like to lean, cross my legs in a masculine position, fold my arms…you name it!  I'm confident about this body language in person, I am always nervous about awkward angles in front of the camera.   How is it that every 20 year old knows how to pose to look 10 pounds thinner and the only way I know is the one that makes me look 10 pounds heavier? In the past, I've worried that the photographer I was working with wouldn’t look for the best angles and moods that fit me but Whitney immediately jumped in and put me at all the right angles (clearly, if you have seen any of the pictures we chose.)  She took control and made me feel like a zillion bucks. She also shot enough variety of images and poses that I knew there were going to be a few that we both would love.   

I simply loved getting my make up done, putting on a great pair of heels and having a photo shoot that was all about me.  I may be on the mature side of life but I still feel beautiful now and again and this experience made me feel beautiful, young and alive. I think we should all do this for ourselves once and awhile.  I am grateful I have several photos that really capture the essence of who I am today and someday my kids will enjoy them and take pride in these images. Thank you, Whitney for the heavy dose of mojo that you have given me!!!

Empowerment Portrait Session: Kim Wall

"I don't photograph well."

I have heard this defensive line more times then I can count. It's usually one of the first things people say when they meet me. Its definitely uttered consistently on the phone when future clients are booking me for portrait sessions.

Here's the thing guys - in bad lighting, with a wide angle iPhone or in mediocre lighting with a mediocre photographer - we ALL have the potential to photograph poorly. Being the subject of a photo is NOT an easy thing to do. Our bodies were made to move. They were made to function and protect us. They were made to get us through long work days and consume beautiful meals - they were not meant to stand static in front of a lens and be frozen in time.

So when someone says, "I don't photograph well," I have only one response. "That's OK! I do!!"

I do photograph well. I have spent the last ten years photographing every single type of person you can imagine. No one's face is a challenge. No one's body is a mystery. I truly love the uniqueness of every person - of getting to show someone who "doesn't photograph well" just how untrue that mantra is.

Kim was an amazing example of this sentiment. If you have ever met Kim - even in passing, you know that she shines. She is positively vibrant with energy and beauty. Her perfect porcelain skin and gorgeous red hair, combined with her bright style and fabulous glasses make her immediately memorable. So when Kim told me she didn't photograph well, I just chuckled and thought - we'll see about that!

As you might have guessed by now - I have proven Kim wrong. Not only does she photograph well - she photographs brilliantly. Her confidence shines through in EVERY SINGLE photo. And if that's not true beauty - I don't know what is. This is exactly why I'm doing an Empowerment Portrait for one truly amazing lady. Nominate a woman who is beautiful inside and out. Tell me how she has inspired you. She could end up with a complimentary Empowerment Portrait Session!

Hear from Kim on how she felt about her portrait session:

It's amazing how empowering it can be to see yourself through someone else's eyes. Someone who doesn't share your self-doubt, but instead sees your best self.

Before my shoot with Whitney, I was nervous. While I know I'm a strong, powerful and dynamic woman, I don't usually like photos of myself. I'm not quite where I want to be fitness-wise at the moment so I beat myself up for that. I don't always like my smile because I have a noticeable-only-to-me crooked thing happening so I hold my face weird. The negative self-talk overrides my otherwise confident self in photos - and I know it. So it's no surprise that I overthink things during photos and awkwardness ensues. I'm a work in progress, actively banishing the negative from my life. But it creeps in there sometimes.

Whitney was able to guide me from start to finish in every aspect of the shoot, leaving nothing for me to overthink. The experience was actually super fun! She instinctively knows how to make what's inside shine on the outside. She understands a woman's body and accentuates what's uniquely beautiful without hiding what's real.

The result? Photos that capture me - the real me. I'm strong, I'm confident, my personality comes out and slaps you in the face and, most importantly, I see my beauty and strength both inside and out. Notice I didn't say "you see." I see it for myself which is the biggest win of all.

Peace out, self-doubt.

Empowerment Portrait Session: Taylor VanderWell

Meeting Taylor is equivalent to meeting a calm, quiet, force of nature. I learned very quickly that her power centered in a deep connection to herself and her body. This woman is grounded. Her feet are planted on the earth and she is intentional about her life and choices. So I can imagine a surprise pregnancy was a bit of a shock. 

Photographing Taylor was an amazing experience. Her confidence inspired me - her beauty overwhelmed me. Her love of this beautiful unborn baby astounded me. I can't wait to watch her become a mother. I know she'll bring every once of calm strength she has to that child's life. She is the epitome of an empowering woman. I would nominate her for an empowerment portrait in a heartbeat. (Have you nominated an inspiring woman yet?)

Read Taylor's story below. 

*** Caution - nudity ahead. But let's be cool. A woman's body is a stunning thing and I want to celebrate it every chance I get! 

I was lying on the floor of my apartment listening to a guided meditation. The woman leading it said to, “focus on the aliveness in your pelvis”. In that instant, my entire body tingled. I suddenly had this overwhelming feeling that there was, indeed, aliveness in my pelvis. But more than one preventative measure had been taken and I was pretty sure the lady beast had paid me a visit the week before...so there was just NO way that could be possible. 

Ha…ha. Ha.

No matter how many sticks I peed on the next morning, they all looked up at me with those two life-changing lines. 

There was 14 hours before the baby’s father was going to board a plane to Africa, where he’d be doing PhD research for the next 1.5 years or so (for the record, he is incredibly supportive and returned early to join baby & I for keeps). I did 32 weeks of pregnancy solo. Completely squashing my all-natural, out-of-hospital birth plan and euphoric pregnancy fantasies were bleeding, a placenta previa, pelvic rest, a vasa previa and a velementous cord insertion that landed me in the hospital for 3 weeks of observation with a c-section delivery scheduled 5 weeks early. So, it's been wildly beautiful and horrible journey all at once.

But through this entire experience, there has been a consistent theme that I keep coming back to: women are f*ing strong. Hands down, it is the strength and presence of women in my life, childless and not, that has held me together these last 7 months. This pregnancy has revealed to me an obvious physical strength--like my body just knowing how to grow and nurture my son inside of it, deliver him through it, and then continue the process of growing and nurturing him outside of it.

But it has also revealed a mental and emotional strength that comes from surrendering to the unexpected and embracing it. There has been something holy and sacred in recognizing that strength and power of my body, mind and soul. All of it. From those very first tingles that told me, “hey, there’s someone happening in here” to the stitches that will soon adorn my abdomen...my body has done something incredibly powerful, and I wanted that captured.

Empowerment Portrait Session: Michelle Book

“I’m so proud of you.”

My mom voiced this sentiment thousands of times in my life. Every time my brother and I would experience success, or struggle through a life event that eventually became an achievement, we could rely on mom to show up with her pride. This phrase was uttered so many times, it eventually became a household joke. Now Hunter and I tell each other about the pride we experience for each other’s achievements both in jest and true sincerity. 

My mother taught me pride. She taught me to stand up tall. To be no one but myself, make decisions and move forward. She taught us that we could do anything, and would have to do most things by ourselves. She gave us the confidence to achieve without reservations. 

My mother is my safety net, but she raised Hunter and I to be so strong, that we rarely need it. My brother and I are good people. We value helping others, giving to those who are less fortunate and working really really hard for every dollar in our lives. We knew how to do all of this, because we watched our mother’s commitment to her work and to herself. 

My mom is amazing- by the real definition of the word. She built herself piece by piece, one life experience at a time, into a person Hunter and I are so proud to claim. She shows up to the task of self improvement and accomplishment everyday. She has fought through more personal struggles and roadblocks than I would wish on a stranger. And every single time, I watch her come out stronger, more amazing, more giving, and more impactful. 

Moving back to Des Moines has allowed me the greatest joy of building a life along side my mom. We are able to be each other’s dates at events. I’ll walk past Centro on a Thursday night and have the unexpected pleasure of waving at my mom and popping in for a hug. There was one day earlier this year when we were both interviewed for the same news segment, by the same reporter. While our accomplishments are different, she is fighting to end food insecurity in Iowa and I am fighting to give everyone the feeling of confidence and self love I am so fortunate to hold, we walk together on this long and complicated path of life. 

She is my mentor, even when I fight her. She is my rock, even when I’m holding her. She is my vault, even when I can’t find the words to express my feelings. Mom, I’m so proud of you. Hunter and I are all of the good things because you were there to show us what good is. Love you tons. 

My mother is who I would nominate for our newest campaign, Empowerment Portrait. I want to gift one inspiring woman the feeling of beauty and empowerment with a complimentary portrait session with hair and makeup services. Who has lifted you up, helped you in an immeasurable way? Nominate her for an empowerment portrait here!